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Band 5.5

some people think that all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #lawbreakers #prison #alternatives
Society has different opinions about crime.
while
 some argue that all
people
 who commit crimes should be sent to
prison
, others seem to think about other solutions.
although
 the second opinion seems to be a good idea in a certain aspect, I still believe the first one should be implemented. On the one hand, all lawbreakers should serve a
prison
 sentence to ensure the safety of other citizens. If these criminals are not locked away, they could pose a serious threat to their communities.
For instance
,
people
 who
make
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 severe devil activities
such
 as murdering someone should be directly sent to jail immediately because of their dangers and society will feel unsafe if they know that there is a murderer around.
moreover
, imprisonment could help prevent offenders from reoffending after being released because they would be afraid of losing their freedom again.
Besides
,
this
 helps deter potential criminals from engaging in illegal acts
due to
 a fear of receiving a confinement sentence.
also
,
people
 believe that
people
 who break the law should be sent to
prison
 to ensure the law is respected. on
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 side, the crowd believe that sending lawbreakers to
prison
 can not solve the problem because one of the root causes of crime is a lack of education.
Therefore
, prisoners who do have not a chance to access proper education, even if they stay in jail for 10 years or 20 years, are likely highly re-offend after being released.
otherwise
, when everyone is fully aware of the dangers of committing a crime, they would be less likely to engage in illegal activities again.
However
, I believe that all sorts of these alternatives are better only with soft crimes. In conclusion,
while
 some
people
 hold their ideas about applying alternative methods for prisoners, others and I still believe time in jail should be applied for lawbreakers because of the safety of society and law respect.
Submitted by bengocbaby9 on

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task response
Address both views equally and clearly state your own opinion at the end of the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Work on maintaining a clear and cohesive structure with logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences.
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