Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today.

This
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
issue of whether
music
is just a form of entertainment is open to debate.
this
essay will discuss both views and present my opinion. On the one hand, some
people
hold the belief that
music
is one of the most popular ways to unwind after work,
first
of
all
Add the comma(s)
,all
show examples
it is believed that
music
can reduce stress is good,
this
is mainly because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
is good
mental
Change preposition
for mental
show examples
health
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, the labour can
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
blow off some steam after a back-breaking day.
Consequently
, the labour has more
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
power the
next
day.
besides
, it is obvious that
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
more time learning to play
music
, which is help players diminish more negative activity.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
you will make more friends with similar interests in
music
and positive energy.
Thus
, you will have a quality life.
On the other hand
, others are of the opinion that
music
has much large on society these days.
Firstly
it is obvious that
music
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
mental health.
this
is mainly because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health plays a key role in the life of humans.
For example
, a person listens more to meditation
music
, which
is help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
the listener easy to sleep and
less
Add a missing verb
be less
show examples
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
angry.
Consequently
, who is always happy will easily communicate with
people
.
Secondly
,
Music
spreads the message.
For example
, the washy song in covid-19 diseases,
Consequently
people
have a habit
washing
Change preposition
of washing
show examples
their hands. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
is important for the life of
people
,
although
someone considers songs as a type of fun, I believe it is much more than many
people
think and it can change our mindset to make better decisions.
Submitted by nguyenhoanganh64195123 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Escapism
  • 2. Social gatherings
  • 3. Cultural heritage
  • 4. Traditions
  • 5. Social change
  • 6. Political expression
  • 7. Awareness
  • 8. Community
  • 9. Belonging
  • 10. Therapeutic benefits
  • 11. Mental health
  • 12. Emotional expression
  • 13. Cognitive performance
  • 14. Concentration
  • 15. Memory
  • 16. Productivity
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