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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #person #culture #country #origin #influence
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Nowadays there are a lot of
people
 who
emigrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
emigrate
show examples
 from their native
country
 and there is a debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
culture
 is defined by their motherland or that has only a minor influence. In my opinion, the majority of
people
 are somehow affected by their
country
 of origin, because when a person is born he acquires a nationality and it is just a part of them. One of the factors that really
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 a difference is family. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it really depends on that, because if your family supports your
country
's
culture
 and
this
 is a part of their life,
then
 I think there is not much of a chance that an individual's
culture
 would not be formed by his
country
 of origin.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there are a lot of
people
 that are not
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 their
country
's
culture
. One of the reasons might be that it is just not interesting for them, they just do not understand it and over their lifetime it has had zero influence on their personality.
Also
, if in a person's
environment
 there are not any
people
 who support the
country
's
culture
 it is just simply not in his daily life and he does not care about that. To sum it all up, it really depends on the person and his
environment
, if the
environment
 supports the
country
's cultures
then
 the chances are that he will too,
on the
contrary
Add the comma(s)
,contrary
show examples
 if there is just no interest for him and his
environment
then
 it will probably make a minor influence on his
culture
.
Submitted by oimigle on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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