IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, many local shops have Closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #centres #malls #development
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Thesedays
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These days
 , It is irrefutable that
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people
peeple
Correct your spelling
people
 prefer to purchase anything that really
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 from huge shopping centres,
therefore
Linking Words
,
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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 to close a number of little local shops. In my view, there are multitudinous
beneficial
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benefits
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 choice. In the following paragraphs, I shall discuss the issue in depth.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I believe that buying from large malls is much more convenient and safe. We can locate easily the parking where it is equipped with
exact
Change the word
exactly
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 secure cameras which absolutely protect our vehicle and their inner means. In that case, we will buy anything that we want without anxiety and haste.
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Moreover
Merever
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Moreover
, when we go to
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
 centre not only can acquire
our
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the
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 necessities of our life, but
also
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 it could
be place
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be placed
show examples
 for some leisure activities like
intertaining
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entertaining
 ,relaxing and eating.
Although
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, there is foodcourt, coffee shops,
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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, covered amusement and
cinema
Correct article usage
a cinema
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 in these spots.
Secondly
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, by buying with
this
Linking Words
 method, we will save money and
time
Use synonyms
. Any member of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 can obtain easily everything that they exactly ask
,
Change preposition
for, such
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Clothes, shoes, bags,
furnituers
Correct your spelling
furniture
, electronic
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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, toys
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc. They go to
these
Change the determiner
this lecatrin
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lecatrin
Correct your spelling
lecithin
 together with one mean, pay for the parking and
gasolin
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gasoline
 once. Parents
instead
Linking Words
 of
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to buy several
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and
divers
Correct your spelling
diverse
show examples
 places,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do them all at once in the shortest
time
Use synonyms
 with fewer
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
.
Thirthly
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Thirdly
, there is
extreme
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extremely
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various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
 in commodities that gives us a chance for better selection what we want.What's more, it
motivate
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motivates
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 the sellers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
competition
Replace the word
compete
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 in quality , prices and facilities. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
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, they attempt seriously to present their products with higher
Correct your spelling
quality
qauality
Correct your spelling
quality
and lower cost. In conclusion, in my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge Shopping centres prepare manifold facilities for Satisfaction
Change preposition
with
show examples
customers. It helps individuals to save currency and economize
time
Use synonyms
 as well as provide
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
and out of
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
 places for buying them with attendant family entertainment.
Submitted by shadi.babaei on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail outlets
  • consumer behavior
  • shop locally
  • convenience
  • variety
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • community
  • personal touch
  • small businesses
  • local economy
  • big corporations
  • dependence
  • shopping habits
  • urbanization
  • globalization
  • competition
What to do next:
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