Many People believe that the increased presence of violence in film and Television these days is responsible for the rising incidents of violent crime among youths in society. They argue that government have a duty to control the media so as to reduce this phenomenon. Do you agree with this argument?

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Introduction

Recently, every individual thinks that the impact of violent scenes in cinema and

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contributes to the increasing number of violent crimes, especially among youngsters in society. I completely agree that government has to regulate the media to reduce

this

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issue.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with, violence in film and Television has a negative impact on young people. Generally, it leads to crime in the real world.

However

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, in those cinemas and on

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, it can be seen as justice and extremely cool for them.

In other words

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, they may think that it is not illegal to do.

For example

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, the main character in violent movies tends to be stronger than any other figure.

Therefore

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, those who respect him are likely going to punch others in the real world.

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

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although

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Add an article

the

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violent scene has a drawback among youths, movie directors or producers are not willing to stop them because of the high demand.

This

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means many customers like to watch

this

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kind of film and

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Thus

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this

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is beneficial for both producers and customers.

In other words

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, the government is the only organization that can prevent

this

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problem from young stars.

For instance

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, imposing an age restriction to watch violent movies may contribute to reducing

this

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phenomenon.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the increased presence of violence in film and

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is harmful among young people because of their emotions, and it is good for both customers and producers.

Therefore

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, I believe that government will be helpful in solving

this

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issue by implementing an age regulation.

k41tanaka

Nov 5, 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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