IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of one's life. How far do you agree or disagree with this view ?

#retirement #time #life
In general, our world population is ageing consistently and the concern about the retired generation is rising noticeably nowadays. It is said that
retirement
 is the happiest time of
one
's
life
. But it seems to me that
this
 is not definitely a confirmative statement because there are still many situations that we need to look deeply into it to confirm the above comment.
First
 of all, the
retirement
 age is normally ranged from 55 to 65 and over. By
this
 age, people are getting ageing with a weaker body which let them face lots of health issues
such
 as heart diseases, headaches, back pain, and some other chronic diseases.
This
 can lead to dissatisfaction with their health
life
.
For example
,
one
 like spending their time with their kids and grandchildren but some illnesses prevent them from performing their wishes. The other negative effect of
retirement
 is that the older they get, the lesser their physical activities are performed. By,
this
 we mean that the elderly have lesser leisure options than the earlier stage of
life
.
For instance
, they can not play the heavy sport but
instead
 of some light exercises to prevent them from hurting their body.
This
 condition can
also
 lead to other unexpected results
such
 as their circle of relationship would be smaller which causes isolation within their own environment.
One
 more negative factor is that old people would not feel happy when they have to rely on their family's support in terms of finance even if they are likely being looked after by their family and society. In conclusion, I do not really agree with the idea that
retirement
 is the most blossoming period of
one
's
life
 while there are lots of unexpected scenarios that could be appeared in
life
.
Submitted by carnations0991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: