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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the Olympic Games are exciting and can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #nations #waste #money
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Some are of the view that the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 are astonishing and can bring countries to
common
Add an article
the common
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 ground whereas others think
its
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it's
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 a decay of finances. While the games
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 have opportunities for individuals
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be a paradise for fraud and mismanagement. The
Olympics
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 is the only stage where
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world's
Correct article usage
the world's
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 top athletes compete for supremacy.
To begin
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 ,with
this
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 helps athletes around the
world
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 come together, and show their talents to the
world
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.
Secondly
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, it gives an opportunity to nations around the
world
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 to put their differences aside and come together. As an example, the
world
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 ,war two
Olympics
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 pave the way to a ceasefire conduct the event which was the climax of the century.
Finally
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, the game will help to increase camaraderie among athletes and share their experiences and learn from each other.
On the contrary
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, at the hands of the wrong ,authorities it can have detrimental effects
to
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on
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 the economy.
Firstly
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, conducting an event of
such
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 magnitude requires millions of dollars to be spent in a short period of time.
For instance
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, in 2016 Brazil hosted the
Olympics
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 and invested billions in the improvement of infrastructure in the country,
nevertheless
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 right after the game's country went
in
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into
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 a debt trap resulting
an
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in an
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 economic collapse.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, a report issued by the IMF showcased the extent public funds were misused by the government without any understanding of the repercussions. In conclusion,
although
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 conducting
Olympics
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 in a country where transparency and rule of law
is
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are
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 upheld can be a success, it will have devastating effects
to
Change preposition
on
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 countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are unable to invest money
to
Change preposition
in
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 the event accurately resulting in bankruptcy
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Submitted by madonnasama on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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