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Band 4.5

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
Child labour has been an issue in the world for centuries, but it could not be eliminated completely. In many nations
children
 are forced to
work
, some people believe that it is utterly wrong, while some think that it is beneficial to gain some
work
 experience. I personally believe that
children
 should not
work
, but
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 they should be motivated to get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
. On the one hand, some people argue that it is necessary for a child to
work
 at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
 age in order to get some experience, but
this
 will badly affect the child’s study routine, which will lead him/her to bad grades.
For example
, if a boy is working for 4 or 5 hours a day in a restaurant, those 4 or 5 hours will cause him enough tiredness which will prevent them from completing his homework. Child labour can change the way of thinking of
children
 and vanish their love for getting
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some people are totally against the idea of
children
 working in different fields as well as I believe that too.
Children
 as supposed to go to school and get educated without any
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 so that can clearly focus on what they should learn, which can help them to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good and sophisticated
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society. Uk charity claims that
children
 working along with their studies were not able to get good grades in the exam as compared to those who didn’t
work
. In conclusion,
children
 are the future of our society and they should not be wasted by letting them
work
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a very young age,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 they should be sent to school and help them to focus on their education.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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