IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Television has had a significant influence on the cultural many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of your society?

#television #influence #societies #development #society
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Researches show that a lot of
people
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 in the world
keen
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are keen
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 on social medias
specially
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especially
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television
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. According to some other
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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researches
Add a comma
,researches
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 striking
percent
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percentage
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 of
people
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 learn better with visual memory, so
television
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 is a remarkable
media
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medium
show examples
 to learn from. Spending
time
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 for at least two hours in front of
TV
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the TV
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 is much popular nowadays. So
immense
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the immense
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of
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apply
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quality of TV
programs
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 is absolutely important. I should mention that
the
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apply
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television
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 has affected
the
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apply
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cultural development whether
with
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in
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positive
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a positive
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 influence or negative.
Programs
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 or movies with
violence
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violent
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 scenes are important examples of influential shows. If young
people
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specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
Correct your spelling
teenagers
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teen-agers
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teenagers
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 who are so
impressible
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impressionable
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 watch these
sort
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sorts
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 of
programs
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, that would probably cause
Change the wording
violence
acts of violence
outbreaks of violence
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violences
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violence
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 and
rebelling
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rebellious
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 behaviour specifically at school. As a solution, changing
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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 of the program would be a good idea . When the kids and teens are at school or sleeping at night. For another solution, parents can be aware of the
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violence
acts of violence
outbreaks of violence
show examples
violences
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violence
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 in the program with a subtitle age-
limitted
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limited
 sign which is shown at the corner of the border. As all know, every coin has two sides . Broadcasts definitely have positive
affects
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effects
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.
Television
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 with lots of channels can develop many cultures like
to broadcast
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broadcasting
show examples
 cultural celebrations not only to present
variety
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a variety
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 of cultures to everyone in the world but to make
people
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 happy. To sum up ,
firstly
Linking Words
, spending
time
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for
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apply
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watching
television
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programs
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 must be scheduled.
Secondly
Linking Words
, every parent should either manages
time
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 for their kids or make sure that TV program isn't harmful with negative affect.
At
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In
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 the end ,
broadcast
Add an article
the broadcast
a broadcast
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 can
Correct your spelling
affect
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effect
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affect
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 whether negatively or positively, that depends on the audience's behaviour.
Submitted by minoo.abdousi7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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