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Band 4

Television has had a significant influence on the cultural many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of your society?

#television #influence #societies #development #society
Researches show that a lot of
people
 in the world
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
show examples
 on social medias
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
television
. According to some other
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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researches
Add a comma
,researches
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 striking
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of
people
 learn better with visual memory, so
television
 is a remarkable
media
Fix the agreement mistake
medium
show examples
 to learn from. Spending
time
 for at least two hours in front of
TV
Add an article
the TV
show examples
 is much popular nowadays. So
immense
Correct article usage
the immense
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quality of TV
programs
 is absolutely important. I should mention that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
 has affected
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural development whether
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 influence or negative.
Programs
 or movies with
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 scenes are important examples of influential shows. If young
people
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
teen-agers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
 who are so
impressible
Replace the word
impressionable
show examples
 watch these
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
 of
programs
, that would probably cause
Change the wording
violence
acts of violence
outbreaks of violence
show examples
violences
Correct your spelling
violence
show examples
 and
rebelling
Replace the word
rebellious
show examples
 behaviour specifically at school. As a solution, changing
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 of the program would be a good idea . When the kids and teens are at school or sleeping at night. For another solution, parents can be aware of the
Change the wording
violence
acts of violence
outbreaks of violence
show examples
violences
Correct your spelling
violence
show examples
 in the program with a subtitle age-
limitted
Correct your spelling
limited
 sign which is shown at the corner of the border. As all know, every coin has two sides . Broadcasts definitely have positive
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
.
Television
 with lots of channels can develop many cultures like
to broadcast
Change the verb form
broadcasting
show examples
 cultural celebrations not only to present
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of cultures to everyone in the world but to make
people
 happy. To sum up ,
firstly
, spending
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
television
programs
 must be scheduled.
Secondly
, every parent should either manages
time
 for their kids or make sure that TV program isn't harmful with negative affect.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end ,
broadcast
Add an article
the broadcast
a broadcast
show examples
 can
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 whether negatively or positively, that depends on the audience's behaviour.
Submitted by minoo.abdousi7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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