IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holidays #country #travel #holiday
In the ever-changing world, it is noticed when choosing a destination for their vacation, an inclination of people towards their
home
country
 is observed as compared to other parts of the globe.
This
 essay disagrees that
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 the mass population prefers their
home
 town over abroad when choosing to travel for leisure.
First
 and foremost, we humans always like to experience new places,
hence
, visiting our
home
country
 makes it boring.
Secondly
, visiting your
home
country
 becomes strenuous as you get entangled
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 numerous commitments with family and friends which
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 your well-being.
For instance
, Elon Morgan stated in his interview with CNN "Australia which is my
home
country
 would be my
last
 choice to travel for a break, as I don't want to indulge in the renovation and fixing of my house and forget that my main purpose of taking off
wis
Correct your spelling
was
 to enjoy and take rest".
Although
 the cost of travelling is surging
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 which makes it economical for the person to travel to his
home
country
, the purpose of taking holidays is not to save money, it is ultimately to please and refresh yourself. The person always
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 it mesmerizing when
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 new places as it gives them a sense of relaxation.
For instance
, a study
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the University of Chicago depicts that the lion's share of people taking off from work in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 is divided into
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
 preference: 63% takes a flight to
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 east region to enjoy hot weather; 28% prefers Europe to explore historical sights
; and
Change the punctuation
, and
;
show examples
 only 9% staffs prefer to visit their forefather place. In a nutshell, the future does
predicts
Change the verb form
predict
show examples
 that the cost of living will amplify in the coming days, but choosing your
home
country
 for holidays will never be the
first
 choice of a person, as
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad is always found to be enticing.
Submitted by acca_fahad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: