Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.
Working a part-time job trend is increasing for
pupil
day by day, Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
while
travelling is Linking Words
very
essential for students to refresh themselves. Some people argue that students should be motivated to work part-time and travel Rephrase
apply
along with
that. I totally agree that pupils should be asked to work and travel before enrolment in the university.
On the one hand, an odd job can help students in many different ways, Linking Words
such
as earning their expenses is one of the many factors that can help parents to spend less on their child's study and living expenses. Linking Words
Secondly
, it can help them learn some skills which can be useful for them in real life. It can Linking Words
also
help them to build a sense of discipline in themselves. Linking Words
For instance
, I used to work in China as an English teacher, where I used to earn more than 20 dollars an hour. That helped me to understand the value of time and I was more disciplined than before.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, travelling is a very essential part of a pupil's life, which can help them explore different countries and their cultures. Travelling can refresh Linking Words
a
mind of a junior, which will allow them to perform well in their studies. Correct article usage
the
For example
, I am an art scholar I wished to go to Switzerland on vacation, where I visited museums and art galleries, Linking Words
hence
I was able to learn more about Swiss art which helped me generate new ideas.
In conclusion, I totally agree that working and travelling is a very essential part of a student's life and almost every student should be motivated for them. It will help them gain some new experiences and let them explore the real world.Linking Words
Submitted by sudaiskhan992 on
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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a clear and coherent response to the given prompt, presenting arguments for the benefits of students working and travelling before university. Make sure to explicitly address the extent of agreement or disagreement in the thesis statement to enhance task response.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure overall, with clear main points and supporting examples. However, the introduction and conclusion would benefit from further development to provide a more comprehensive framework for the reader. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph is well-connected and flows naturally from one to the next to enhance coherence and cohesion.