Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

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Some people believe

technology

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and science should be attended

owing

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to owing

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to alter

level

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the level

show examples

of societies.

Although

Linking Words

humans think that level of

art

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and music

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not as higher as

technology

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. From my point of view, as a human being, I agree that

technology

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experts bring benefits to inhabitants of the planet and make positive alternations

such

Linking Words

as simpler communication . In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain briefly

about

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apply

show examples

these ideas.

To begin

Linking Words

with, modern societies have to pay attention to

upgrade

Wrong verb form

upgrading

show examples

their communities, whereas there is no possibility to consider them as a "modern society" . In order words,

technology

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have

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has

show examples

caused huge revolutions to develop

quality

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the quality

show examples

of communication. Take the "iPhone" invented exactly after manifold

divices

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devices

as a remarkable example; before

this

Linking Words

revolution, individuals use mobile phones just for calling or sending and receiving text

massages

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messages

show examples

. Nowadays, people not only make phone calls and texting but

also

Linking Words

are capable of searching on the internet ,

sending

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and sending

show examples

Correct your spelling

variety

Correct article usage

a varayety

show examples

varayety

Correct your spelling

variety

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data

datas

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data

like emails.

However

Linking Words

art

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has existed since

cave

Fix the agreement mistake

caves

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dwells

Wrong verb form

dwelled

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

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painting

Wrong verb form

painted

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on the walls of the caves.

In addition

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, no one is capable of informing about the past and culture more

clear

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clearly

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than artists and musicians.

On the other hand

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

and

technology

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not only have two different paths but

also

Linking Words

they are not comparable to

Correct your spelling

each other

eachother

Correct your spelling

each other

Furthermore

Linking Words

, being updated and using upgraded

technology

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is more trend in developed countries. Because people are looking for

Add an article

a more

show examples

comfortable life. To conclude, according to some human beliefs , technological and scientific

essues

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issues

are worthy of attention more than

art

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and music. To some extent I agree with that point of view as

quality

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the quality

show examples

of life is improving every day

Change preposition

with

show examples

hands

Correct article usage

the hands

show examples

technology

Use synonyms

experts.

Submitted by minoo.abdousi7 on Sat Nov 05 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

valued
modern society
scientists
technology experts
musicians
artists
reliance
scientific advancements
practical benefits
driving economic growth
daily lives
culture
human emotions
express ideas
provoke thought
spiritual well-being
emotional well-being
preserving cultural heritage
subjective nature
diversity

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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write about the following topic Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

Some people think that, to learn about other countries, traveling abroad is necessary while others think that is not necessary because TV and the internet can give the same information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?