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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
Some people believe
technology
 and science should be attended
owing
Change preposition
to owing
show examples
 to alter
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of societies.
Although
 humans think that level of
art
 and music
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not as higher as
technology
 . From my point of view, as a human being, I agree that
technology
 experts bring benefits to inhabitants of the planet and make positive alternations
such
 as simpler communication . In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explain briefly
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these ideas.
To begin
 with, modern societies have to pay attention to
upgrade
Wrong verb form
upgrading
show examples
 their communities, whereas there is no possibility to consider them as a "modern society" . In order words,
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 caused huge revolutions to develop
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of communication. Take the "iPhone" invented exactly after manifold
divices
Correct your spelling
devices
 as a remarkable example; before
this
 revolution, individuals use mobile phones just for calling or sending and receiving text
massages
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messages
show examples
. Nowadays, people not only make phone calls and texting but
also
 are capable of searching on the internet ,
sending
Correct word choice
and sending
show examples
Correct your spelling
variety
Correct article usage
a varayety
show examples
varayety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
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data
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 like emails.
However
,
art
 has existed since
cave
Fix the agreement mistake
caves
show examples
dwells
Wrong verb form
dwelled
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
painting
Wrong verb form
painted
show examples
 on the walls of the caves.
In addition
, no one is capable of informing about the past and culture more
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
 than artists and musicians.
On the other hand
,
art
 and
technology
 not only have two different paths but
also
 they are not comparable to
Correct your spelling
each other
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
.
Furthermore
, being updated and using upgraded
technology
 is more trend in developed countries. Because people are looking for
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 comfortable life. To conclude, according to some human beliefs , technological and scientific
essues
Correct your spelling
issues
 are worthy of attention more than
art
 and music. To some extent I agree with that point of view as
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of life is improving every day
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
hands
Correct article usage
the hands
show examples
 of
technology
 experts.
Submitted by minoo.abdousi7 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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