Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

Some people believe

technology

and science should be attended

owing

Change preposition

to owing

show examples

to alter

level

Add an article

the level

show examples

of societies.

Although

humans think that level of

art

and music

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not as higher as

technology

. From my point of view, as a human being, I agree that

technology

experts bring benefits to inhabitants of the planet and make positive alternations

such

as simpler communication . In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain briefly

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these ideas.

To begin

with, modern societies have to pay attention to

upgrade

Wrong verb form

upgrading

show examples

their communities, whereas there is no possibility to consider them as a "modern society" . In order words,

technology

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

caused huge revolutions to develop

quality

Add an article

the quality

show examples

of communication. Take the "iPhone" invented exactly after manifold

divices

Correct your spelling

devices

as a remarkable example; before

this

revolution, individuals use mobile phones just for calling or sending and receiving text

massages

Correct your spelling

messages

show examples

. Nowadays, people not only make phone calls and texting but

also

are capable of searching on the internet ,

sending

Correct word choice

and sending

show examples

Correct your spelling

variety

Correct article usage

a varayety

show examples

varayety

Correct your spelling

variety

Correct your spelling

data

datas

Correct your spelling

data

like emails.

However

art

has existed since

cave

Fix the agreement mistake

caves

show examples

dwells

Wrong verb form

dwelled

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

painting

Wrong verb form

painted

show examples

on the walls of the caves.

In addition

, no one is capable of informing about the past and culture more

clear

Change the word

clearly

show examples

than artists and musicians.

On the other hand

art

and

technology

not only have two different paths but

also

they are not comparable to

Correct your spelling

each other

eachother

Correct your spelling

each other

Furthermore

, being updated and using upgraded

technology

is more trend in developed countries. Because people are looking for

Add an article

a more

show examples

comfortable life. To conclude, according to some human beliefs , technological and scientific

essues

Correct your spelling

issues

are worthy of attention more than

art

and music. To some extent I agree with that point of view as

quality

Add an article

the quality

show examples

of life is improving every day

Change preposition

with

show examples

hands

Correct article usage

the hands

show examples

technology

experts.

Submitted by minoo.abdousi7 on Sat Nov 05 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

valued
modern society
scientists
technology experts
musicians
artists
reliance
scientific advancements
practical benefits
driving economic growth
daily lives
culture
human emotions
express ideas
provoke thought
spiritual well-being
emotional well-being
preserving cultural heritage
subjective nature
diversity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In many nations, teenagers are involved in various kind of paid employment. Some would argue that it is totally wrong, while others say that it is fine for children to gain work experience. This essay disagrees for allowing children working at the young age, despite of the experience they gained, they have their right for the time for developments.
5.5
band
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter, describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do Write at least 150 words.
I am writing this letter to bring your attention towards the issue that I face while using a newly purchased laptop of Samsung company from your store.
7.5
band
Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Given the pivotal role of the advancement of technology, the question of whether or not its effects on human beings are positive has garnered widespread interest. One common perspective that many people, myself included, disapproved of is that this development impacts adversely on individual’s lives.
5.5
band
Your next-door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your small dog that barks throughout the day and the night has disturbed my family's peaceful life.
6.5
band
children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There is a controversial issue today related to whether children who grow up in poor families can handle the difficulties of adult life or those who are raised by rich guardians. The purpose of this essay is to analyse both sides of the argument and then I will give my own perspective.

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your next-door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style

children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?