IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say the public funds should be spent on promoting healthy living than on the treatment of people who are ill. To what extent do you agree / disagre

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It is extensively argued that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of public revenue should invest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
wellness
Correct article usage
the wellness
show examples
 sector rather than
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
sick
Add an article
the sick
show examples
 community. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion to a large extent;
however
Linking Words
,
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
 cannot be ignored the importance of
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 lifestyle,
therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 disquisition will discuss both sides of
this
Linking Words
 trend with valid reasons. Scrutinizing with the
first
Linking Words
 stance, it is widely known that prevention is better than cure.
This
Linking Words
 means, if we take extra measures against any disease before attacking, it will help us to lead a health-conscious Lifestyle. That's why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend enough penny
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 healthy living
than
Change preposition
for
show examples
ill
Change preposition
on ill
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because, when
people
Use synonyms
 stay healthy all year round, they do not feel sick and
need
Add a missing verb
do need
show examples
 not to go
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
 for treatment. To cite an example. The
people
Use synonyms
 of Nepal mostly depend on physical exercise as well
different
Correct word choice
as different
show examples
medication
Fix the agreement mistake
medications
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as cup therapy. To be more precise, they
also
Linking Words
 believe that these types of techniques are quite
profound
Correct quantifier usage
more profound
show examples
 than advanced
Correct your spelling
medical
madical
Correct your spelling
medical
 treatment since they get a better long
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 to adopt these systems.
There fore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
confert
Correct your spelling
convert
 a large amount of money to make well-lifestyle.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,some supporters claim that no matter how careful we are,we will sick at any time.due to The fact
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that getting diseased is a natural term of
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body,& we need to go to the hospital.
As a result
Linking Words
,
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 more fund
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
Correct your spelling
sector
sectors
sectore
Correct your spelling
sector
 for well -
being
Correct article usage
the being
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
individuals
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
.to be more precise, though
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
show examples
 country's
people
Use synonyms
 try to maintain a healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 right from
early
Add an article
an early
the early
show examples
 period,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
 they get due to
myrid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 reasons.The majority of diseases
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 are - cardiovascular disease,
diabetic
Replace the word
diabetes
show examples
, obesity and so on.
Moreover
Linking Words
, every year they run through huge
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 for medication for
cure
Add an article
a cure
the cure
show examples
. Even though many
people
Use synonyms
 cannot continue treatment due to
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of penny.
Hence
Linking Words
,
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sick
people
Use synonyms
,as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days
this
Linking Words
 is more vital. In conclusion, both sides have
equivalant
Correct your spelling
equivalent
 importance. As
Add a comma
,fore
show examples
Correct your spelling
far
show examples
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 as I believe, it is more crucial that administration
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 more public
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 for the
cureness
Correct your spelling
cuteness
sureness
 of
people
Use synonyms
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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