Some people say the public funds should be spent on promoting healthy living than on the treatment of people who are ill. To what extent do you agree / disagre

It is extensively argued that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of public revenue should invest

for

Change preposition

show examples

wellness

Correct article usage

the wellness

show examples

sector rather than

for

Change preposition

show examples

sick

Add an article

the sick

show examples

community. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion to a large extent;

however

Linking Words

administration

Correct article usage

the administration

show examples

cannot be ignored the importance of

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

lifestyle,

therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

disquisition will discuss both sides of

this

Linking Words

trend with valid reasons. Scrutinizing with the

first

Linking Words

stance, it is widely known that prevention is better than cure.

This

Linking Words

means, if we take extra measures against any disease before attacking, it will help us to lead a health-conscious Lifestyle. That's why

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should spend enough penny

for

Change preposition

show examples

healthy living

than

Change preposition

for

show examples

ill

Change preposition

on ill

show examples

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because, when

people

Use synonyms

stay healthy all year round, they do not feel sick and

need

Add a missing verb

do need

show examples

not to go

hospital

Add an article

the hospital

show examples

for treatment. To cite an example. The

people

Use synonyms

of Nepal mostly depend on physical exercise as well

different

Correct word choice

as different

show examples

medication

Fix the agreement mistake

medications

show examples

such

Linking Words

as cup therapy. To be more precise, they

also

Linking Words

believe that these types of techniques are quite

profound

Correct quantifier usage

more profound

show examples

than advanced

Correct your spelling

medical

madical

Correct your spelling

medical

treatment since they get a better long

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

to adopt these systems.

There fore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should

confert

Correct your spelling

convert

a large amount of money to make well-lifestyle.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,some supporters claim that no matter how careful we are,we will sick at any time.due to The fact

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that getting diseased is a natural term of

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body,& we need to go to the hospital.

As a result

Linking Words

administration

Correct article usage

the administration

show examples

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

more fund

Change preposition

for

show examples

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

Correct your spelling

sector

sectors

sectore

Correct your spelling

sector

for well -

being

Correct article usage

the being

show examples

Correct your spelling

individuals

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

.to be more precise, though

europe

Change the capitalization

Europe

show examples

country's

people

Use synonyms

try to maintain a healthy

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

right from

early

Add an article

an early

the early

show examples

period,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

they get due to

myrid

Correct your spelling

myriad

reasons.The majority of diseases

Change preposition

show examples

these

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

are - cardiovascular disease,

diabetic

Replace the word

diabetes

show examples

, obesity and so on.

Moreover

Linking Words

, every year they run through huge

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

for medication for

cure

Add an article

a cure

the cure

show examples

. Even though many

people

Use synonyms

cannot continue treatment due to

shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

show examples

of penny.

Hence

Linking Words

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

spend more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

sick

people

Use synonyms

,as

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days

this

Linking Words

is more vital. In conclusion, both sides have

equivalant

Correct your spelling

equivalent

importance. As

Add a comma

,fore

show examples

Correct your spelling

far

show examples

fore

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

as I believe, it is more crucial that administration

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

more public

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

for the

cureness

Correct your spelling

cuteness

sureness

people

Use synonyms

rownoak.rouf

Nov 6, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
The opinion exists that old buildings should be demolished to make way for modern structures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that former houses should be taken down to build new modern structures. I totally agree with this statement as an old building can be a hidden danger to the community and there is limited free land for new buildings in the city.
6.5
band
It is more important for school children to learn about their local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While some history lessons in schools focus on the history of the children’s country, others take a more global approach and teach the history of other countries as well. I believe it is important to learn about the past of one’s own country but also the history of the world.
6
band
In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is an ongoing debate that people will no longer purchase physical books or printed newspapers due to free access to online content. I would argue that it will not happen because publishers still require operating fees and paid printed publications will be a better option for some readers.
8
band
You have seen an advertisement looking for volunteers to teach English overseas. Write to the recruitment office. In your letter •Tell them where you saw the advertisement •Explain why you would like to go •Describe the skills that you have that you think would help.
I am writing to express my interest in the advertisement I saw regarding the volunteer opportunity to teach English overseas. I came across the advertisement on a popular volunteering website while searching for opportunities to contribute to the education sector abroad.
7.5
band
Compared to the past, people can now work in places that are far from their homes because of modern means of transportation. How has this affected the lives of workers? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having modern transportation. Support your answer with specific reasons and example.
In contemporary society, transportation has become increasingly prominent. While some contemplate that is has improved unemployment, some argue it is not worth missing out on quality family time. Personally, I strongly advocate for the former view. However, this essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of this phenomenon, whereafter an opinion will be given.

Some people say the public funds should be spent on promoting healthy living than on the treatment of people who are ill. To what extent do you agree / disagre

The opinion exists that old buildings should be demolished to make way for modern structures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You have seen an advertisement looking for volunteers to teach English overseas. Write to the recruitment office. In your letter •Tell them where you saw the advertisement •Explain why you would like to go •Describe the skills that you have that you think would help.

Compared to the past, people can now work in places that are far from their homes because of modern means of transportation. How has this affected the lives of workers? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having modern transportation. Support your answer with specific reasons and example.