IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#television #children
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Nowadays, people have accessed more information than the
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previous
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pervious
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previous
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. Even young babies are allowed by their
parents
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 to watch
television
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 without realizing in
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disadvantages
disadvantges
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disadvantages
 of
media
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.
However
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,
the
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apply
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children
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 can create
the
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apply
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knowledge
form
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from
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 watching
media
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. From my perspective, there are both advantages and
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disadvantages
disadvantage
disadvantges
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disadvantages
on
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for
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children
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 According to the research, the more amount of time
that
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apply
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children
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 have spent on
television
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, the more negative effects on their
behaviors
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behaviours
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. Since their
parents
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 let them
to
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apply
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watch alone, kids do not acknowledge
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that
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what
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 is good or bad without
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parents'
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their parents'
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 advice. They
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tend
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trend
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tend
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 to behave following
media
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 which is mostly
violence
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violent
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 or crime news. That might affect
bad
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the bad
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behavior
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behaviour
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 of
children
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 in the future.
Otherwise
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,
education
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the education
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 of
children
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 currently relies more on technology through the
media
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 channels. If
parents
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 have no time to
teaching
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teach
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their
thier
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their
children
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, the
media
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 is a great option for them. While
varieties
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the varieties
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 of education
has
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have
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 increased
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every
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very
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every
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 day,
children
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 have
opportunity
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the opportunity
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 to
situmulate
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stimulate
simulate
 their basic learning since they
was
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were
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 young.
This
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have
Change the verb form
has
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consequence
Add an article
a consequence
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on
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for
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 kids' future learning development.
Therefore
Linking Words
, watching
television
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 have
benefit
Add an article
the benefit
a benefit
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to
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for
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children
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 while there
is
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are
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 some
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disadvantages
disadvantage
disadvantges
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disadvantages
 to
children
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 if there is no advice from
parents
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. Learning
developement
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development
adavantge
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advantages
advantage
outweight
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outweigh
 the negative result
from
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of
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 watching
television
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by buildwim on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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