IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many students find it difficult to pay attention at school. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem?

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Nowadays, the most common issue is concentrating at
school
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. Many
students
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 locate it complex to pay attention at
school
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. In my part, I will discuss, what are the causes for
this
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 and what could be done to decide
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, one of the main reasons for
this
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 problem is the excessive use of electronic devices
such
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 as cell phones. At the present time almost all
students
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 and youngsters use
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 phone to play harmful different games and different apps, kindly, and
thus
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 scholars lose interest in
school
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, but in order to solve
this
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 problem
director
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directors
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 and
teachers
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 should collect the phones of all
students
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 and return them back after
school
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 or director must talk warn parents in the general group not to bring their phone to
school
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.
Besides
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, many
teachers
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 not taught well in schools and
thus
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 many
students
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 and teenagers start going to classes and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to the fall of the
school
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. To my mind, in order to decide
this
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 challenge, in schools
teachers
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 can hold interesting useful circles and conduct the lesson normally.
Moreover
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, principals should hire highly educated and best
teachers
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 to make the lesson useful and interesting for the
students
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.
Nevertheless
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, nowadays, most scholars and adolescents
rude
Add a missing verb
are rude
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, arrogant,
thick-skinned
Correct word choice
and thick-skinned
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 and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 bad things,
such
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 as,
sit
Wrong verb form
sitting
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 and
talk
Wrong verb form
talking
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 with
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 girlfriend or boyfriend in class and
this
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 impacts the loss of interest in the lessons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
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. I guess they must keep calm and talk after class. Another reason
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 that pupils have a plethora of bad friends and
therefore
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 they lose interest in lessons at
school
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. If pupils will be
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 with broad-minded people,
then
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this
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 issue will change for
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
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