Some people think learning painting and drawing at school is a waste of time while others think it is important. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Some
people
think learning
art
,
such
as painting and drawing at school is a waste of time while others think it is important. In my opinion, learning
art
at school gives
people
have good imagination which is one of the important parts of success in the future.
Therefore
this
is a significant subject at school.
To begin
with, researchers said that most of the successful have developed
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
utilize both left and right brains. At
first
, we have known that have left
brain
controls logic and the right
brain
controls the imagination. And students who are good at math or physic or some logical subject always have their left
brain
developed and vice versa, students who have a right
brain
developed
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
good at
art
or creative subjects.
However
, using both sizes of brains can help them easier to memorize
.
Correct quantifier usage
more.
show examples
For example
: most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
memorable
Add an article
the memorable
show examples
people
in the world, who can remember a long number in seconds said that they imagine a story in their head and can remember
better
Correct pronoun usage
it better
show examples
.
Second
, learning painting and drawing help students improve the flexibility of their hand and knowing about
art
help them enjoy beautification and make their lives happier.
Finally
, even though many
people
have different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
, I believe that understanding
art
makes
people
more civilized, and peace-loving thereby our lives will be happier.
Submitted by buiphuongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • cultural literacy
  • historical awareness
  • therapeutic
  • career relevance
  • design principles
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • non-essential
  • resource allocation
  • standardized testing
  • practical use
What to do next:
Look at other essays: