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There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work
When it comes to
education
, there are several topics that divide opinions throughout the population as
whether
Change preposition
to whether
show examples
 non-academic
subjects
 should be part of primary
education
 or not. I absolutely disagree that children's
education
 should be exclusively academic and
therefore
, in my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-academic
subjects
 should not be excluded from the school syllabus.
Firstly
 it is undebatable that society is facing historic high pressure on academic grades, and I do believe that it is important to give youth incentives to develop academic knowledge and analytical skills.
However
, more than ever, creativity is one of the most important skills that individuals can have, because it gives them the ability to solve problems and
this
 skill is developed, more efficiently, when students are submitted to non-academic
subjects
 that
stimulates
Change the verb form
stimulate
show examples
 the left side of the brain.
In addition
, it is well known that society is going through an unprecedented mental health crisis with
a high levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
a high level
high levels
show examples
 of depression not only in adults but
also
 in young children as a consequence of the stress undergone by them to keep up with a heavy academic workload at the same time that eliminates any joy that could be found on alternative activities
such
 as cookery, theatre and arts.
Furthermore
, there are several
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
show examples
 showing that the new generation is more sedentary than ever,
therefore
 removing physical
education
 from school could lead to even greater harm to its health.
Hence
 I am a strong advocate for the continuity of non-academic
subjects
 as part of primary
education
 for young children, teenagers and even for young adults at the university level so we can keep our offspring not only creative but
also
 mentally and physically healthy.
Submitted by rebeca_nicolas on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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