Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenager #community #work #time #benefit #teenagers

There are a lot of young

people

who go to do unpaid

community

work

after school. Some

people

think that it is good for both young

people

and the

community

. My view is that unpaid

community

jobs can provide teenagers and the

community

with a lot of advantages.

First

, it is obvious that young

people

can have a good experience

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing

community

work

This

is because they need to learn how to communicate with different kinds of

people

who are living in

this

community

and how to

work

together. So they can learn something different

that is

not from books.

Moreover

, young

people

can build

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with other

people

For example

, young

people

can meet

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other

people

who are

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

similar age and they can make friends easier after working together.

Therefore

, young

people

should have more friends in the same area and have a better memory.

On the other hand

, the government can save money for the

community

because young

people

can do some

community

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

for free.

For instance

, teenagers can clean the

community

’s park regularly, so that the government can spend less money on it.

Moreover

, the government can use that money to organize some activities for

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

. In summary, I think that it is good for teenagers to attend some different events of

community

work

without pay, which will be a good experience for them in the future. So, it is good for parents to encourage their young kids to do some

community

jobs.

Submitted by yingfengli630 on Sun Nov 06 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

mandatory
community service
empathy
real-world issues
problem-solving skills
social skills
networks
constructive
detrimental activities
college applications
job resumes

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Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarket is going money to schools to promote their products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many counties are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

Should the government support artist, such as musicians, writers, and painters? Is it economically beneficial or is it just a waste of money? Why or why not?

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?