Fewer people today visit museums than in past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future.

In recent years, the number of visitors going to

museums

Use synonyms

has declined substantially. The reason behind, entrance tickets are very high in price and the saddest

nothing

Correct your spelling

thing

show examples

is new to see.

However

Linking Words

, there are many solutions the government can organize the event and the school assign

project

Fix the agreement mistake

projects

show examples

to their students so that many

people

Use synonyms

visit

Use synonyms

there in the future.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are various reasons why

people

Use synonyms

are not interested

Change preposition

in visiting

show examples

visit

Use synonyms

historical

places

Use synonyms

and

museums

Use synonyms

. One of them is that visitors do not like to

visit

Use synonyms

places

Use synonyms

again and again unless there are some new changes.

In addition

Linking Words

, almost every resident knows their history and culture very well.

As a result

Linking Words

, they find it boring. That's why

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are less inclined to

visit

Use synonyms

and see it again. Another reason is that there is a heavy fee charged

while

Linking Words

entering the museum. Take the Khiva tourist and visitors should get a ticket for watching. It is true that the cost needs to be recovered from

such

Linking Words

a fee,

however

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

do not

visit

Use synonyms

again to see the same thing again.

However

Linking Words

, it can be solved in different various ways. One of them is the government should take different steps to encourage the residents to

visit

Use synonyms

historical things and

places

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museums

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. They can organize cultural events at the museum's place so that many

people

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will come to see it.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in terms of the school, they can give historical assignments or projects to their student. So they can

visit

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there with their parents and

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

excel in their studies.

For instance

Linking Words

, if the children are more interested in

such

Linking Words

things. They will want them to go quickly to the historical

places

Use synonyms

and learn more. In

this

Linking Words

way, the majority of

people

Use synonyms

could

visit

Use synonyms

more in the future. In conclusion, a heavy fee

while

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

entering and no changes in the historical

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

in the

museums

Use synonyms

deters

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

from visiting

show examples

visit

Use synonyms

there. The government and schools should

also

Linking Words

arrange some activities in those

places

Use synonyms

which create interest to pupils and their parents to go their time to time

makemoneyizzy16Mon Nov 07 2022

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task achievement

Try to provide a clearer introduction with a strong thesis statement that outlines the reasons and solutions more comprehensively. This will improve your essay's direction.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to separate your paragraphs more distinctly, each focusing on one main idea. This enhances clarity and flow.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to create a more engaging and varied writing style.

task achievement

While your reasons are valid, include more specific examples or data to support your claims and make your arguments stronger.

task achievement

You identified relevant reasons for the decline in museum attendance, such as high ticket prices and lack of new exhibits.

task achievement

Your solutions involve practical ideas like government involvement and school projects, which show good thought in addressing the issue.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Fewer people today visit museums than in past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future.

Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?