IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?

#students #internet #effects #purposes
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There has been much discussion revolving around the issue
whether
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of whether
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 the use of
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internet
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the internet
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 should be confined
for
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to
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 pupils for scholarly purposes.
Although
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 it can be useful to research
topic
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topics
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 of interest, some people say
students
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 should only learn from
books
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 as the
internet
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 can be too distracting. In
this
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 essay, I will try to look over both of these views. To start with,
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internet
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the internet
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 is being loaded with brand new
information
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 every day, as
books
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 were written in
old
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the old
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 days and
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information
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the information
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 in them could be incorrect or outdated. Undeniably, we would want
students
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 to learn from better and more reliable sources, that they could learn from
new
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newly
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 made
researches
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research
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 and fresh scientific discoveries, and
in
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on
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internet
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the internet
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- they could get quick access to
this
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 data, while
books
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 might not yet contain
this
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 new
information
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.
For example
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, it would not be ethical to deprive a medical student of
newly
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a newly
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 discovered and more effective pneumonia treatment that has only been published on the
internet
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,
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apply
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 and had not been printed in their textbook yet. As
books
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 are good for
methodical
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a methodical
the methodical
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way
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ways
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 of learning, the
internet
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 is best for practical research purposes as it has a broader amount of
information
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 collected in it.
However
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, as the Net might be a more convenient way to do research, it is
also
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 loaded with tons of distracting activities for
a
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apply
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young
child
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children
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, and adults too. To be more exact, there are gaming arcades and chat rooms that could disrupt a student
in
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is
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 working. While a person is learning from textbooks or their notes written in hand, there are not many disruptions that could divert their attention, while on the
internet
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 they are only one click away from starting to play a video game or chat with their friend. Learning online might be too distracting for people that do not know how to manage their attention span yet, so
students
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 should be supervised while they are studying on the
internet
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. On the basis of the above discussion, I believe that the
internet
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 is a better way of learning
,
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apply
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 and that we should not restrict their access to it.
Although
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 it could get distracting,
students
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 should learn how to focus their attention on scholarly
matter
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matters
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 and
do
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apply
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not
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stray
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astray
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stray
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to
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from
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 the temptations of the
internet
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.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • independent learning
  • critical thinking
  • excessive reliance
  • hinder
  • crucial
  • problem-solving
  • overly dependent
  • diversity
  • perspectives
  • global cultures
  • enriching
  • unrestricted
  • information overload
  • discerning
  • credible sources
  • incorporation
  • engagement
  • adaptivity
  • personalized learning
  • innovative
  • pedagogy
  • digital age
What to do next:
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