Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

this

essay, I explore different views towards who should be held accountable for leading healthy lifestyles. Some believe that the individual is responsible, while others think that the government plays a significant role. I will discuss both arguments with relevant examples, and share my stance on the subject.

To begin

with, many consider

people

to be in charge of their own life choices. They assert that it is down to an individual to organise their lives in a manner that allows

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them to manage their time, exercise and partake in healthy eating practices.

For example

, a person with a busy schedule may wake up early in order to go for a morning jog and introduce vegetables into their diet.

Nevertheless

, those that neglect

such

practices may suffer from illnesses,

such

as obesity and heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

However

, others are convinced that the government should take care of

people

and lead by example. There are myriad ways in which they can do

this

such

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

advertisements to promote health and

deliver

Wrong verb form

delivering

show examples

speeches on mental

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

. I think

this

is more important than individual responsibility, insofar as governing bodies are able to use their position of authority, charisma and eloquence to reach out to

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

. In consequence, they can motivate them to make positive choices.

Furthermore

, they could reduce employee workloads.

This

would lead to happier and

productive

Correct quantifier usage

more productive

show examples

workforces. Not only

this

, but it would

also

reduce stress-related diseases. All in all, while both sides of the argument are valid, the government plays a more integral factor. They are in charge of countless

people

and are role models. Due to

this

, they are able to influence and bring about welcome changes.

For instance

this

response illustrates how they can advise

people

on the importance of sport participation and introduce shorter working days.

Submitted by z.pfister on Mon Nov 07 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries nowadays, a large number of people are moving to cities. Why do people move to cities? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or a negative development ? "