IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that showing big sporting events like the Olympics and the World Cup encourages adults to exercise. Others think there are better ways to make people to exercise. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give relevant examples,

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Dear Hiring manager My name is Maria Shved, and I'm applying
to
Change preposition
for to
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 position
L&D
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of L&D
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Content
Use synonyms
 Curator in Namecheap. I am an experienced project manager in
education
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the education
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 field, and
Linking Words
last
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the last
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 3 years
i
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I
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 have spent on
development
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the development
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 and improvement
educational
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of educational
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 processes in LMS working together with
Chief
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the Chief
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 product owner,
also
Linking Words
 placing e-learning
content
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,
managing
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and managing
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 learners and stakeholders. And I understand how
make
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to make
show examples
 educational
content
Use synonyms
 projects for thousands of users,
this
Linking Words
 is what I have been doing for more than 5 years.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is what I would like to continue doing in your global developing company with an ambitious team. In
a
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the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 company, where I have been working, I created with the
IT-team
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IT team
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 and stakeholders a
catalog
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catalogue
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 of educational aggregated
content
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, placing in
it
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its
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 various types of
content
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 from microlearning to
macrolearning
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microlearning
macro learning
, which allowed
to
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me to
show examples
 build personal educational trajectories with AI recommendations. I
courated
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curated
 more than 20 integrations with international LMS platforms, coordinated
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
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development
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own
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my own
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 LMS platform, managed the process of placing
online-courses
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online courses
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,
led
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and led
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 webinars and blended, hybrid, and flipped courses. I worked with many universities,
and
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apply
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attracted hundreds of thousands of new students
the
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to the
show examples
 platform and opened up the opportunity for lifelong learning by tracking their paths.
Linking Words
Also
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,Also
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 I have been conducting a large number
iterations
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of iterations
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 of negotiations with stakeholders, clients, partners,
teams
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and teams
show examples
 both technically and not,
for example
Linking Words
, marketing or c-level managers. In conclusion, I would like to continue the path of developing educational opportunities in
global
Add an article
the global
a global
show examples
 market with Namecheap, I believe my background provides the skills you require and I would welcome the opportunity for an in-depth interview. Please message me on contact mail to arrange a convenient date and time for us to meet. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, Maria Shved

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourages
  • participation
  • physical activity
  • inspire
  • role models
  • community programs
  • fitness campaigns
  • enthusiasm
  • accessible
  • local initiatives
  • motivation
  • health benefits
  • lifestyle changes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: