Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #lifestyle #government #care

Health

is the most important part of our life. Who would not say that the presence of a healthy

lifestyle

is important for the person as a whole

Change the punctuation

show examples

this

topic,

people

have different points of view, including many who believe that a healthy

lifestyle

is everyone's own

responsibility

. Others think that the

government

needs to take care of it. “Everyone should take care

about

Change preposition

show examples

their own

lifestyle

Add the punctuation

,lifestyle

show examples

” says those who consider their life their own business. It is a good idea that everyone is responsible for themself and must rely

first

and foremost on themself. It gives

motivation

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the motivation

show examples

to make a healthy

lifestyle

individually:

have

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has

show examples

healthful sleep,

regulate

Change the verb form

regulates

show examples

meals, doing

sports

and exercises.

However

, there are

people

who think about the

government

responsibility

for

people

health

. They believe that individuals usually cannot monitor their

health

because of long working days, family and difficult circumstances. In

this

condition, they expect that the

government

will make special programs like

promotion

Correct article usage

the promotion

show examples

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

, holding

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events,

sponsor

Wrong verb form

sponsoring

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities etc. I do think that

people

’s

health

and healthy lifestyles are an individual and collective

responsibility

. It is very difficult to keep socially important things at a decent level.

Health

is the most significant part of

people

's lives and a big part of

health

sports

Therefore

this

is a question not only of opportunity

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but of the

responsibility

of the whole society

about

Change preposition

regarding

show examples

the

health

of the population. So, it is necessary that both

people

and the

government

make a common effort to take care of the

health

of society. The

government

should build

sports

clubs and

sports

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, educate young

people

about

sports

, allow students to participate more in

sports

competitions, and monitor the nutrition in school canteens.

People

will attend gyms and exercise, and learn to follow diets. Students in canteens will consume only healthy food and win

sports

competitions. After all,

health

is in

sports

Submitted by z.pfister on Mon Nov 07 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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2) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, teamwork is in fashion in the workplace and many people working with a group of people. What are the advantages and disadvantages teamwork brings to people who prefer to do so?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual's responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries today in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?