Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Health
is the most important part of our life. Who would not say that the presence of a healthy
lifestyle
is important for the person as a whole
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
On
this
topic,
people
have different points of view, including many who believe that a healthy
lifestyle
is everyone's own
responsibility
. Others think that the
government
needs to take care of it. “Everyone should take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
their own
lifestyle
Add the punctuation
,lifestyle
show examples
” says those who consider their life their own business. It is a good idea that everyone is responsible for themself and must rely
first
and foremost on themself. It gives
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
to make a healthy
lifestyle
individually:
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
healthful sleep,
regulate
Change the verb form
regulates
show examples
meals, doing
sports
and exercises.
However
, there are
people
who think about the
government
's
responsibility
for
people
's
health
. They believe that individuals usually cannot monitor their
health
because of long working days, family and difficult circumstances. In
this
condition, they expect that the
government
will make special programs like
promotion
Correct article usage
the promotion
show examples
of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
, holding
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events,
sponsor
Wrong verb form
sponsoring
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities etc. I do think that
people
’s
health
and healthy lifestyles are an individual and collective
responsibility
. It is very difficult to keep socially important things at a decent level.
Health
is the most significant part of
people
's lives and a big part of
health
is
sports
.
Therefore
,
this
is a question not only of opportunity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but of the
responsibility
of the whole society
about
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
the
health
of the population. So, it is necessary that both
people
and the
government
make a common effort to take care of the
health
of society. The
government
should build
sports
clubs and
sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, educate young
people
about
sports
, allow students to participate more in
sports
competitions, and monitor the nutrition in school canteens.
People
will attend gyms and exercise, and learn to follow diets. Students in canteens will consume only healthy food and win
sports
competitions. After all,
health
is in
sports
.
Submitted by z.pfister on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: