IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Writing Task 2: Some people believe young people are more attracted to fashion and it causes negative aspects to themselves and society. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #fashion #aspects #society
Nowadays, there is
such
 a crucial problem in our modern world that juveniles are addicted to the fashion industry and think too much about their appearance. It has a bad effort on their mind. In my point of view, I totally agree with
this
 thesis statement and there are some issues and solutions below.
First
 of all, adolescents always pay attention to their clothes and
this
 is why it is very important to look up-to-date and to be in trend.
However
, a lot of the population suffers because they do not have enough possibilities to purchase new clothes from posh stores just due to being normal in society. Usually, If you look different to everyone you will be bullied by humans. The
next
 reason is being similar to your bias and a crush. The majority of people see photos on the internet and they can not understand why they look different.
On the contrary
, society does not know that photos of celebrities are edited and they look completely unlike in real life.
Therefore
, many young communities spoil their health and have mental problems because of trying to be not themselves.
On the other hand
, people create so many unique things and it is amazing to stand out from others.
For instance
, to dye hair in an unusual colour or do a tattoo or piercing even though society does not accept it. In conclusion, many people should stop following trends on the internet and think all that they see is real.
Therefore
,
this
 can lead to horrible consequences
such
 as losing weight and mental problems.
Submitted by danapothetiv on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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