Writing Task 2: Some people believe young people are more attracted to fashion and it causes negative aspects to themselves and society. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is

such

a crucial problem in our modern world that juveniles are addicted to the fashion industry and think too much about their appearance. It has a bad effort on their mind. In my point of view, I totally agree with

this

thesis statement and there are some issues and solutions below.

First

of all, adolescents always pay attention to their clothes and

this

is why it is very important to look up-to-date and to be in trend.

However

, a lot of the population suffers because they do not have enough possibilities to purchase new clothes from posh stores just due to being normal in society. Usually, If you look different to everyone you will be bullied by humans. The

reason is being similar to your bias and a crush. The majority of people see photos on the internet and they can not understand why they look different.

On the contrary

, society does not know that photos of celebrities are edited and they look completely unlike in real life.

Therefore

, many young communities spoil their health and have mental problems because of trying to be not themselves.

On the other hand

, people create so many unique things and it is amazing to stand out from others.

For instance

, to dye hair in an unusual colour or do a tattoo or piercing even though society does not accept it. In conclusion, many people should stop following trends on the internet and think all that they see is real.

Therefore

this

can lead to horrible consequences

such

as losing weight and mental problems.

Submitted by danapothetiv on Mon Nov 07 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

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Writing Task 2: Some people believe young people are more attracted to fashion and it causes negative aspects to themselves and society. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Pros and cons of using television, it is a time-wasting? Give your opinion

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18 is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?