IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are living in a University residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open late at night. Write a letter to the governor of the University. In your letter, Complain about the situation Say why this is a problem And propose ways to reduce the noise Begin your letter ‘Dear --------’ Do not write any addresses

Dear Governor, I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 to appraise you with some problems that a bunch of students including me are encountering from a recently opened restaurant on our campus,that plays high frequency of music in their bar area. The main aspect to consider,
this
Linking Words
 bar is open 24 hours and our senior students often love to go there to have fun and dance to loud music;
as a consequence
Linking Words
 , it is really deteriorate for us to concentrate on our studies as the mid-exams are coming near.
Moreover
Linking Words
, campus classes are over in the evening and the learners who delve into the university residence come back to their assigned rooms to have some rest and to study later but
due to
Linking Words
 high levels of noise, we can neither sleep properly nor study efficiently. Moving
further
Linking Words
, I would like to suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
change the closing time of the restaurant and to bring it from 24 hours to 11:00pm.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I would like to advise you to follow up with the supervisor of the canteen regarding the nuisance and there must be a limit on the volume level and a heavy fine if someone doesn't obey the rules. I hope, you will consider it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a serious issue and will try your best to solve
this
Linking Words
 matter. Looking for
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
immediate and prompt action from your side. yours sincerely, Rav.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into different paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea to improve clarity.
task achievement
Try to use more polite language, especially in the beginning and in the closing remarks. This will make your writing tone more suitable.
task achievement
It would be helpful to explain more about how the noise affects your daily life. This will make your complaint stronger.
task achievement
You have clearly stated the problem and made suggestions for solutions, which is very good.
coherence and cohesion
The letter begins and ends appropriately, showing good structure.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: