IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people say that the subject of international news should be taught in secondary school, other people say that it is a waste of valuable school time, discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #news #school #waste #time
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We know that a lot of fundamental and useful subjects,
such
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 as mathematics, languages, chemistry and physics had been applied in secondary
school
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 for a long period. But nowadays, some people propose that the
subject
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 of international
news
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 should
also
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 be taught in secondary
school
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. For my part, I think, before we add a new
subject
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 to our secondary
school
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 education system, both advantages and disadvantages of the
subject
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 need to be considered deliberately.On one hand, the
subject
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 of international
news
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 really
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 about a lot of benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
school
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students
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. To be a modern and open-mind person, the
knowledge
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 of basic
science
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 will not
adequate
Add a missing verb
be adequate
show examples
 for his or her future career, other kinds of
knowledge
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,
such
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 as the
knowledge
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 of society,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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knowledge
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 of laws is
also
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 required in his or her practical work,
otherwise
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, he or she will meet lots of problems that he or she could not handle.
Consequently
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, secondary
school
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 is supposed to play not only the function of providing
students
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 with systematic and disciplined basic
science
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knowledge
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 play the function of helping
students
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 to be more social, more open-mind and more competent in their practical work. We could hardly imagine that a modern person claim no idea about the great event
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
 in the world. So, it is quite reasonable to add the
subject
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 of international
news
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 in secondary
school
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 to make the
students
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 more competitive
for
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
On the other hand
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, spending too much
time
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subjects irrelevant
with
Change preposition
to
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 basic
science
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 could be regarded as a waste of valuable
school
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time
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
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 in certain
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
. We know that the main function that secondary
school
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 play is to help student lay a solid literature foundation and provide them with
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
 preparation for
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 future education 【university,college,etc.】.
Accordingly
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, secondary
school
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 is supposed to put their focus on the content and improvement of teaching basic
science
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. As for social subjects,
such
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 as international
news
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educators and
school
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 managers need to arrange a proper portion of
time
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in
Change preposition
for
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 teaching them and provide
students
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 with a more reasonable and perfect secondary
school
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 system.In conclusion, the
subject
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 of international
news
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to be taught in secondary
school
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 because of its great importance,
however
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, it is plausible to teach
this
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subject
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a proper portion of
time
Use synonyms
.
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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