IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school program (for example working in a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports in younger children) How far do you agree or disagree.

#believe #community #services #part #school #program #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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It is thought
by
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apply
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some
of
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apply
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the
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individuals that engaging in voluntary
works
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work
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 is obligatory in the syllabus of
the
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apply
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secondary education. Though there are some downsides, I concur with the given fact as it will aid to improve the quality of future generation and benefits the poor communities who are in need of assistance. On one
hand
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,hand
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 in
this
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 competitive world, focused the majority of the academic
instructions
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instruction
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 merely focused on making the platform for
the
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students to reach
the
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greater heights rather than producing the citizens with
finest
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the finest
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 attitudes.
Therefore
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, compulsive community services
enables
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enable
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 the future generation to
be socialize
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socialize
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 and
also
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 to interact with various economic groups.
Moreover
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,
this
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 opportunity will lead them to understand how the real world is and would motivate them to be successful in their education.
In addition
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, participating in charitable activities and teaching the younger generation would
advantageous
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be advantageous
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 for the poor to gain upward social mobility since they less educational facilities in their rural areas. To cite an example, schools in
countryside
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the countryside
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are
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lack
of
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well-experienced tutors and sports
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 eventhough they have talented pupils in
the
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apply
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sports.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the job competition is climbing
up
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day-by day and taking part in community services would not be beneficial for the pupils to tackle
with
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this
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 crucial problem.
Hence
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,
the
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apply
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academic institutions must prominently pay
their
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attention
on
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to
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 accomplishing the educational qualifications of the people
instead
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 of spending time
for
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on
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extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
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 activities. On the whole, I agree that unpaid voluntary activities in the high school environment
is
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are
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 essential up to a great extent as it would encourage people to be good citizens which is much more beneficial to a certain country and at the same
time
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,time
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 it will advantageous
the
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to the
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 poor.
Submitted by poojatharuka on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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