Women can do everything that men can and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But it is a fact that their work is not appreciated as much as men’s, although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career… It is said: “A woman’s place is in the home.” What do you think?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Women
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can do
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
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a lot
of things that
men
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do or even better.They have got
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
to do
work
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that
men
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can not.
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Even though
Eventhough
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Even though
do not look
their
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at their
show examples
work
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Correct your spelling
valuable
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as valueable
show examples
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
like
men
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Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
,
women
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do more sacrify to their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
,it
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
said
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women
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women's
show examples
place is
home
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.I completely
agree
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onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
the above statement.
Women
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can do different
work
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at the same time man can not
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
as:
house
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holding,
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work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
Correct your spelling
outside
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out side
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outside
show examples
to get raising up economical their family.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
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women
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women's
show examples
role in kids raising
up
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apply
show examples
,cleaning
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house
Add an article
the house
show examples
,
making
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and making
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food is
in
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at
show examples
the top .
For example
Linking Words
, I am a mom of a kid despite working outside every day making food, doing dishes ,cleaning my
house
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and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
my children
in
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with
show examples
his school
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Correct your spelling
homework
show examples
home
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homework
show examples
work
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and
shower
Wrong verb form
showering
show examples
him unlike his father do not do
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anything
show examples
any thing
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anything
show examples
above I mentioned.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
women
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just do what
men
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do in the
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outside
show examples
out side
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outside
show examples
home
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some time
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sometimes
show examples
do better
than
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apply
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, I am a dentist I
work
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at our private clinic with my husband every day doing daily
clinc
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clinic
work
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like, teeth filling, bleaching teeth ,and making veneer for esthetic and
consevative
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conservative
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purposes
purpuses
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purposes
.Some of our patients ask me to do
work
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instead
Linking Words
of my
Correct your spelling
husband
hisband
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husband
since they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
believed
belived
Correct your spelling
believe
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
work
Use synonyms
is more accurate and less painful.Despite all of
this
Linking Words
many people do not give value
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
work
Use synonyms
and tiredness they said
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women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
place is
home
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I think culture and nationality affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their thinking. In conclusion,the
women
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have power to do the
work
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the
men
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do and the ability to do extra
work
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like
house
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holding ,
looking
Correct word choice
and looking
show examples
after their children but most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
folk can not see that due to their religion or community culture.
Submitted by Lazyanlatif18 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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