IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In modern society, some people believe that televised mega-events
such
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 as the Olympics encourage
adults
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 to
exercise
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 regularly,
while
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 others argue that there are more effective ways to motivate them. From my perspective, the latter seems plausible;
however
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, both sides of the issue will be examined in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, I accept that watching big
sports
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 events on TV can motivate
adults
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, especially in the short term. First of all, elite athletes can act as role models for
adults
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 who want to improve their health. When viewers repeatedly see athletes training and competing, they may feel inspired to start small routines,
such
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 as walking more or doing simple home workouts after work.
Therefore
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, media coverage can trigger initial motivation and help some people take the first step.
Moreover
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, the Olympics introduces a wide variety of
sports
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, which can help
adults
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 find an activity that suits their interests.
For instance
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, viewers may try swimming, badminton, or cycling because these
sports
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 look enjoyable and accessible.
On the other hand
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, many
adults
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 need more than inspiration to
exercise
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 regularly. The main barriers are usually time, cost, and lack of convenient facilities. First of all, public
sports
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 centres are an affordable way to start exercising. If local governments provide low-cost gyms, swimming pools, or fitness classes,
adults
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 can work out without worrying about membership fees.
Secondly
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, community programmes can create social support, which makes
exercise
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 easier to sustain.
For example
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, group classes or local running clubs help participants follow regular schedules and stay accountable. In conclusion, televised
sports
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 events can encourage
adults
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 to become active and try new activities, but accessible facilities and community programmes are more effective for building long-term
exercise
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 habits.

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tip
Your answer is clear and you discuss both sides. Try to state your view even more at the start and restate it in the last line.
tip
Use more exact ideas that match the task. Give more real and simple links between ideas and the next idea.
tip
Keep the language simple and avoid hard words. This will help you keep a high score for grammar.
structure
Two sides are well shown with good balance.
structure
Your plan is clear and easy to follow.
content
You use examples to show your ideas.
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