🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Introduction

It is widely believed in some traditional cultures around the world that the young generation can gain anything if they work hard for it. The impending essay will discuss the positive and negative effects of

this

Linking Words

view on children with a logical conclusion.

Body paragraph 1

One of the main benefits of encouraging young people for achieving goals is giving them the power not to give up which in turn contribute them to not

accepting

Change the form of the verb

show examples

the result of losing because it will create a belief for them to try more and more.

As a result

Linking Words

, they become a successful person in the future.

For instance

Linking Words

, the Times has announced that almost 88% of students in Japan study 12 hours a day to get

a high scores

Correct the article-noun agreement

a high score

high scores

show examples

on final exams.

Body paragraph 2

There are multiple drawbacks for young people if they try hard at an early age. One of the demerits of it is being under pressure for a long moment

this

Linking Words

may lead to a significant increase in the level of stress causing damage to mental health.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it may result in being far from childish play because they will spend the vast majority of time in schools or at home preparing educational programs.

For example

Linking Words

, the average hour for playing games for a child in china is 2 hours a day while the other majority of leisure date should spend reading books or implementing

homework

Add an article

the homework

show examples

Conclusion

In conclusion, young people are usually told that they may get everything if they try hard as much as possible. being under stress is the negative side of it while not losing hope will be the positive effect of it.

suhailjallalzadah

Nov 9, 2022

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
self-esteem
confidence
obstacles
ambitious goals
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
stress
burnout
external factors
socio-economic status
resources
opportunities

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🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should public money on saving these language, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?