In many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more disadvantages of advantages?

The advances in the medical field have increased the average life expectancy. In my opinion,the disadvantages outnumber the advantages.

This

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essay will argue that the drawbacks associated with overpopulation and scarcity of resources overpower the advantages related to

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

gains. An increase in the duration of life has several drawbacks

such

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as limitations in the availability of basic needs and an increase in the population. First of all,

this

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will boost the number of citizens residing in a particular nation.

This

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sudden rise in population might overburden the healthcare sector.

Besides

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this

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, the increased statistics of senior citizens will need more critical care because of which hospitals will be completely saturated providing little or no healthcare for the young.

In addition

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this

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, basic resources will be depleted at a rapid rate.

Moreover

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,there will be a shortage of daily essentials like food and water.

For instance

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, the recent population growth spurt seen in India resulted in the shortage of water supply across draught-prone regions. Despite these significant downsides, there can be some

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

benefits seen with an escalation in the number of people in a country.

This

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means that there will be more citizens working in factories, industries and businesses.

Therefore

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this

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can boost the economy and the financial dividend.

For example

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, in China the age of retirement was increased from sixty years to seventy years,

this

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led to an increase in the sum of workers in many industries, which in turn gave the country many monetary benefits.

Although

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this

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is a fair benefit, it is surely overpowered by drawbacks. In conclusion, the increased longevity of life has a good result on the economics of a nation.

However

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, the downsides associated with the scarcity of vital resources and overpopulation are valid.

Hence

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, I believe that the disadvantages are more than the advantages.

divkapadia

Nov 9, 2022

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Task Response

Task Achievement: The essay provides a response to the prompt, but the arguments are not fully developed. More comprehensive ideas and specific examples are needed to fully address the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting points need further elaboration to enhance coherence and cohesion. Additionally, the use of relevant specific examples will improve the overall flow of the essay.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
personal freedom
autonomy
self-reliance
personal development
sense of belonging
loneliness
isolation
mental health
financial stress
cultural shifts
social norms
fulfillment
community values

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In many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more disadvantages of advantages?

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