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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think computers and the Internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #computers #internet #children #study #students #schools #teachers
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A proportion of people believe that studying with the Internet and
computers
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 is important, but others believe that studying in schools and with
teachers
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 is more effective considering
students
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' learning.
Computers
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 and the Internet offer unlimited sources and it is easy to reach them but institutions
such
Linking Words
 as schools provide
order
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 to pupils and
education
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gave
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given
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 by professionals and
this
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 option is more beneficial for learners.
Computers
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 are invented for doing things easily and quickly. After the Internet development, people started to reach sources and even
to
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apply
show examples
each other. As
an evidence
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evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
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,
computers
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 are basically modified
into
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apply
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modern life. With COVID-19, people tend to use their homes to avoid the crowd even from
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education
Replace the word
educational
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 institutions. In
this
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 circumstance, e-learning would be logical.
Also
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,
students
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 save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time which is spent on the way
Fix the infinitive
to go
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Correct your spelling
to
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go
Correct your spelling
to
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 and back to school.
Furthermore
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,
education
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 in proper school buildings
,
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apply
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 provides
students
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being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in
order
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 and
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
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 juveniles to being in contact with each other
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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.
Moreover
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,
teachers
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 are professional lecturers and educating
by
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apply
show examples
them is more effective rather than self-
education
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from
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apply
show examples
online.
Teachers
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are not just give
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are not just given
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 information to
students
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, they
also
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 find their mistakes and weaknesses, so they could ensure to fix these with their own knowledge and experience. In
order
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 that
,
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apply
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 in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
education
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 in schools from
teachers
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 are more beneficial for
students
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 but we could cross
in
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apply
show examples
a path with both online
education
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 and formal
education
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. Overall, even with plenty of sources, separation from crowds and time
save
Replace the word
savings
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, learning from
teachers
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 who are professional lecturers is preferable because of the quality of
education
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 and other benefits which are
order
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 and communication.
Submitted by ecemanginn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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