Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?

#technology #changes #world #people #struggle #technologies #phones #internet #benefit #consumer #electronics

The world changes by benefits of developed

technology

but at present,some of these technological devices

such

as smartphones and the Internet would be hard to

use

for a proportion of old

people

. Overall,

technology

would be beneficial

also

for them

Change preposition

through

show examples

advanced

healthcare

devices and applications and we may provide adaptation with new software which is easy to

use

and understandable for especially elderly ones. Developed technologies

such

as smart bands and

Correct your spelling

special

speacial

Correct your spelling

special

healthcare

applications offering

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

to track their body condition and report

Correct your spelling

dangerous

dangerious

Correct your spelling

dangerous

situations to owners. Those are not only counting heartbeats as programmed to report but

also

keeping calculated blood oxygen levels and the smartest ones send information to officers about your condition in struggle times

such

as after involving in a traffic accident. To consider that, with an easy-to-

useuse

Correct your spelling

use use

use user

device which could be more understandable by the elderly,

people

can

use

the

healthcare

benefits

with

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show examples

advanced

technology

Moreover

, some old

people

don't struggle with understanding

technology

, they just can't read properly because they have

an eye disorders

Correct the article-noun agreement

an eye disorder

eye disorders

show examples

or they struggle with adapting to these

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technologies

technolgies

Correct your spelling

technologies

but the

technology

doesn't have to be difficult or complex. With the volunteers, we can provide

Change preposition

apply

show examples

elderlies by giving information about how to

use

special

diveces

Correct your spelling

devices

which include symbols rather than words which are created especially for them with face to face

Correct your spelling

communication

comminication

Correct your spelling

communication

. To sum up,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

is created by

people

to publics' serve human beings'

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welfare

wellfare

Correct your spelling

welfare

such

healthcare

. Consider that, the same

people

who develop the

technology

such

as engineers, designers and

Correct your spelling

software

sorfware

Correct your spelling

software

programmers can

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

creat

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create

show examples

special

divaces

Correct your spelling

devices

divorces

for

people

who

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struggle

strruggle

Correct your spelling

struggle

with the

use

Correct your spelling

average

avarage

Correct your spelling

average

devices

Submitted by ecemanginn on Wed Nov 09 2022

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Test 17: Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the art (e.g. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Public transport is essential but problematic. Describe some of problems connected to public transport and suggest some solutions.