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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?

#technology #changes #world #people #struggle #technologies #phones #internet #benefit #consumer #electronics
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The world changes by benefits of developed
technology
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 but at present,some of these technological devices
such
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 as smartphones and the Internet would be hard to
use
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 for a proportion of old
people
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. Overall,
technology
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 would be beneficial
also
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 for them
by
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through
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 advanced
healthcare
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 devices and applications and we may provide adaptation with new software which is easy to
use
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 and understandable for especially elderly ones. Developed technologies
such
Linking Words
 as smart bands and
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special
speacial
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special
healthcare
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 applications offering
public
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the public
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 to track their body condition and report
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dangerous
dangerious
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dangerous
 situations to owners. Those are not only counting heartbeats as programmed to report but
also
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 keeping calculated blood oxygen levels and the smartest ones send information to officers about your condition in struggle times
such
Linking Words
 as after involving in a traffic accident. To consider that, with an easy-to-
useuse
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use use
use user
 device which could be more understandable by the elderly,
people
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 can
use
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 the
healthcare
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 benefits
with
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of
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 advanced
technology
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.
Moreover
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, some old
people
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 don't struggle with understanding
technology
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, they just can't read properly because they have
an eye disorders
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an eye disorder
eye disorders
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 or they struggle with adapting to these
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technologies
technolgies
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technologies
 but the
technology
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 doesn't have to be difficult or complex. With the volunteers, we can provide
to
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apply
show examples
elderlies by giving information about how to
use
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 special
diveces
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devices
 which include symbols rather than words which are created especially for them with face to face
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communication
comminication
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communication
. To sum up,
the
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apply
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technology
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 is created by
people
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 to publics' serve human beings'
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welfare
wellfare
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welfare
such
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 as
healthcare
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. Consider that, the same
people
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 who develop the
technology
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such
Linking Words
 as engineers, designers and
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software
sorfware
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software
 programmers can
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create
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creat
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create
show examples
 special
divaces
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devices
divorces
 for
people
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 who
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struggle
strruggle
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struggle
 with the
use
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 of
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average
avarage
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average
 devices
Submitted by ecemanginn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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