An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #plastic #surgery #change #development

Contemprorarily

Correct your spelling

Contemporary

Contemporarily

, a significant number of

people

have been opting for artificial

body

enhancement rather than natural ones

such

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exercise.

This

, I think may be due to the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they want to enhance their beauty to feel confident, and

also

keep up with the fashion world.

However

, in my opinion,

this

practice can be detrimental to the health of the individual, and

also

a bad example to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young adults.

To begin

with, there has been

this

trend where an increasing number of

people

are choosing plastic surgery, which is done either on the breast or the buttocks.

This

may arise because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of confidence in one's

natural

Add an article

a natural

show examples

body

For example

, a lady who loves to wear dresses which are tight on her

body

would

engaged

Change the verb form

be engaged

engage

show examples

this

practice to get an hourglass shape.

Furthermore

, some do so in order to look like a celebrity they adore.

People

can go the extra mile to change some

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

of their

body

just to resemble a famous personality.

Nonetheless

this

, I think, has both positive and negative

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

People

can benefit from

this

surgery by getting the

body

shape they want, which helps boost their self-confidence.

Conversely

this

can be detrimental to the individual's health, in that, lots of chemicals and other toxic substances are used to achieve

this

For instance

, these

people

can be at risk of getting cancer since they are exposed to some hazardous substances. In conclusion,

although

plastic surgery can be beneficial to an individual, I think

that is

a negative breakthrough because of its health implications and

also

, the tendency of teenagers

having

Change the verb form

to have

show examples

lower self-esteem due to the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they do not have a nice

body

shape in comparison with an individual who has enhanced how she looks.

Submitted by augesta7 on Wed Nov 09 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aesthetic enhancement
body dysmorphia
reconstructive surgery
cosmetic procedure
societal beauty standards
self-perception
media influence
psychological impact
confidence boost
surgical intervention

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