Crimes and other kinds of information on TV and newspapers have bad consequences. This kind of information should be restricted to be shown in media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Frankly speaking, I am completely sure, that
this
kind of information should be restricted to be shown in
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
. I would say more -
crimes
should be completely removed from the
media
. You can ask me why??
First
of all, It is dangerous for
children
.As far as I know,
children
learn what they see. So, if
children
grow
Change preposition
up
show examples
watching criminal films,
crimes
, guns,killings and some other
crimes
like these, they will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
person,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
can grow up as
a killers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a killer
killers
show examples
,or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
narco
dillers
Correct your spelling
dollars
killers
drillers
.The child grows up
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
criminal surroundings.
Crimes
and other kinds of information
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
own bad influence on the brain.The brain starts to work in the other
way
.The child "develops his knowledge" about
crimes
.He gets to know what the gun means, he gets to know what the killing means,
he
Correct word choice
and he
show examples
gets to know how to use narcotics.
Also
Add a comma
,
show examples
the child thinks about how to
stole
Wrong verb form
steal
show examples
, how to kill,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
to buy a narcotic. So in
this
way
the earth "purchases" another criminal person.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal content can have a bad influence not only on
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
on adults. Adults can fall into
this
swamp in the same
way
.They watch
crimes
, they learn
crimes
Change preposition
about crimes
show examples
and at the
last
stage
Add a comma
,stage
show examples
they become a criminal. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
there can be
people
who can avoid
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
becoming a criminal. But mainly, criminal contents have a bad end. The
media
, particularly the
TV
and newspapers are areas, which should teach
people
good and nice things and of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
tell the news. The
tv
should teach
people
to be kind,
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
become a perishable person for the community. On the
TV
should be shown nice films about love,about science, about good relationships, about
Correct your spelling
tolerance
tollerance
Correct your spelling
tolerance
. So in
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
people
will learn the best characters
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because as we mentioned above the
media
is an original teacher for the
people
.There
ia
Correct your spelling
is
statistic
Correct article usage
a statistic
show examples
that 70% of
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
have been done because of the bad influence of
TV
.
Submitted by lyov878 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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