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Band 6.5

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries
The increasing
rate
 of child
crime
 is one of the most important problems that many countries face.
However
, what caused
this
 situation is a controversial issue. In my opinion, there are two reasons for
this
 increase, and the government can do something to resolve it.
Firstly
, it is obvious that advanced technology is becoming a driving force behind the increasing
rate
 of youth
crime
. With technology developing, children can get lots of hi-tech products,
such
 as 3-D visual glasses, and can
also
 play advanced games nowadays,
such
 as PS5. These products provide children with a more realistic experience. Meanwhile, if these games contain criminal content, young
people
 are unaware of it and are easily influenced.
As a result
, while developing technology can provide numerous benefits to
people
, it can
also
 have a negative impact on young
people
.
Secondly
, the government doesn’t invest enough money in public education.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days, the world is full of competition, so parents have to work hard for their families.
As a result
 of a lack of education, children do not know what is right and wrong. Their parents do not have time, and the teachers only teach them the skills or knowledge of academics. Their activities will not be controlled by themselves because of their lack of discipline.
For example
, they will bully at school, mistreat the exam, and so on. On the one hand, it is bad for their academic performance.
On the other hand
, it will let them commit the
crime
. I believe that increasing investment in education is a method to resolve
this
 problem. increases in the number of teachers and schools,
for example
. At the same time, increasing community job opportunities for young
people
 can
also
 decrease the
crime
rate
.
Third
, adding some courses for youth,
such
 as skills for future jobs, can help them find work. In conclusion, reducing the
rate
 of youth
crime
 is the most important thing that many countries need to pay attention to.
Submitted by kevin. B on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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