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Band 4.5

Today,more than ever, people are traveling and moving to other countries;however,this is usually no easy task.There are many challenges facing potential immigrants, such as extensive paperwork and often a lot of waiting.Do you think it should be difficult or easy to immigrate to a foreign country? Explain.Have you ever thought about moving to another country? What challenges do you anticipate once you arrive into your new country?

#people #countries #challenges #immigrants #paperwork #immigrate #country
I think every person who goes abroad for once knows how challenging and long it is ,
however
,
If
Correct word choice
apply
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 when you arrive and have a great time abroad it is worth it,
aren't
Correct subject-verb agreement
isn't
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they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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?Anyway,these two cases are quite similar,but moving to another country is more difficult than just going abroad for 2 weeks. In my opinion, it is a really important thing that you must overthink before deciding what to do.If you really want it you must change
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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your life like pass the language test, find
new
Add an article
a new
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 job and
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 home etc. Definitely, you will have a lot of work to do from preparing documents
till
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to
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 buying new furniture and it is not easy,but if you really want it it does not matter how many hours you waste calling someone, going somewhere or signing something.Yeah? To be honest, in
my
Change the word
the
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future
Add a comma
future,
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 I really want to move to another country and study there.I have almost 2 years before I need to decide what to do with my future and what university to choose.First of all, I started
search
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searching
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 the information about how to immigrate and what
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 need to do.After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 I started preparing
pass
Fix the infinitive
to pass
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IELTS
Correct article usage
the IELTS
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 and
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
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 the uni.Now,I realized how difficult
immigrate
Replace the word
immigration
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 is , but I don’t give up.In my point of view,if you want or need to immigrate you should start preparing for a year and find out what exactly
the
Correct article usage
apply
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documents you need. And you should realize that when you arrive
into
Change preposition
in
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 a new country it will be so difficult to get used to,but only the first time,
however
,
some time
Replace the word
sometime
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 after it will be easier than before, trust me. Obviously, if you know the national country’s language it will be easy to live there.My advice
is start
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is to start
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 learning
this
 language in advance. To sum it up,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 or moving are the most unforgettable ways to discover the world and find your place there.Just do it and don't be afraid because everything is possible.
Submitted by viktoriakozachenko2257 on

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task response
Address the prompt more directly and provide a balanced discussion of the topic. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly summarize your stance. Use relevant and specific examples to support your points and ensure they are coherent and connected to your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently. Provide a clear introduction that outlines your discussion and a conclusion that summarizes your key points. Use cohesive devices to connect your ideas and ensure that each paragraph relates to the main topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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