IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Describe a challenging situation outside of school you faced in the past two years. What did you do to overcome this situation? What did you learn?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
How to overcome different situations and become better? Sometimes it seems that my life wants me to be a survivor, always giving me challenges and things to figure out on my own. As time passes and I am learning to manage my life, I seem to be better and better at it.
Last
Linking Words
 summer I went to the camp with my Taekwon-do team. It was an unforgettable trip and despite having huge problems almost 4 or 5 times, we dealt with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 well. Surprisingly, what I remember the most is the
first
Linking Words
 week there and we had to prepare a huge
dance
Use synonyms
 performance in 4 hours. We had to create a real
dance
Use synonyms
 with synchronous movements. it is worth saying that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half of us were 8-year-old children and they did not want to
dance
Use synonyms
 at all.
However
Linking Words
, I had an idea, which saved our performance and made it cooler.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I divided the work between older guys and we stopped wasting our time.
Secondly
Linking Words
, girls started creating
dance
Use synonyms
 moves and
one half
Add a hyphen
one-half
show examples
 of
boys
Correct article usage
the boys
show examples
 chose the music. Another group of boys taught children how to move.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
 it was funny and everyone laughed. After 2 hours of effort, we put it together and really tried doing it synchronically.
However
Linking Words
, 20 minutes later we did it in sync
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the music. We were really happy and proud of ourselves.
Finally
Linking Words
, we finished preparing and danced in front of the whole camp. I was incredibly happy to take
second
Linking Words
 place! On the whole, on the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 it was a great experience of teamwork and we began to understand each other better.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I was a bit disappointed that we did all the work without the camp leader's help.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: