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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays tourists and scientists can travel to remote natural environments such as the SOUTH pole. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#tourists #scientists #travel #environments #pole #development
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Advances in
travel
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 technology have made it possible for people, including scientists and tourists, to
travel
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 to
areas
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 that were previously impossible to reach. While there are some clear disadvantages associated with
this
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 issue, on the
whole
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,whole
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 the
advantages
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 are greater.
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Travel
Wrong verb form
Travelling
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 to remote
areas
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 carries with it numerous disadvantages. One
such
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 disadvantage is that tourists tend to taint natural
areas
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, not only with
waste
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the waste
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 they leave behind
,
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apply
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 but with all the infrastructure required to support tourism. When a remote area requires restaurants, hotels and wifi cables, among other amenities, it ceases to be a virgin area.
This
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 may have a negative impact on the local people living there, affecting their livelihood or way of life.
Similarly
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, scientists may affect a pristine environment as well by setting up laboratories and tampering with the native flora and fauna. The development required to support scientific inquiry may compromise the environment, causing it to lose the very essence of what made it
initially
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 appealing.
Thus
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,
travel
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 to remote
areas
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 may bring numerous drawbacks.
Although
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 there are clear disadvantages to remote
travel
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, the
advantages
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 it provides cannot be overstated.
Areas
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 far removed from urban
centers
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centres
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 frequently suffer from a weak economy,
therefore
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 interest from tourists in these regions could give a
much needed
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much-needed
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 economic boost.
Additionally
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, with the development of necessary infrastructure, new jobs would be created for
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 of the area. More importantly,
however
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, is what research in
such
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 regions could give to the world of science. Opening an uncharted world to scientists could bring about new knowledge that would help mankind, or even perhaps cure heretofore untreatable diseases. A recent report from the New York Times indicated estimated that 22% of diseases with no cure could find treatments from plant life in
areas
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such
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 as deserts and rainforests.
Therefore
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, the
advantages
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to
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of
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 investigating these regions are innumerable. In conclusion, no gain is without costs.
Similarly
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, the
advantages
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 of
travel
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 to remote
areas
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comes
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come
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 at a price.
However
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, all told, the benefits to humanity are too great to ignore
Submitted by tibsr on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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