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Band 6.5

It is recommended by some lawmakers to punish the parents in place of their children who have commited less serious crimes like disorderly conducts or theft. They say that this will force parents to become more responsible in taking care of their children. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#lawmakers #parents #place #children #crimes #theft #force #care #support
Some
people
 argue that criminal juveniles,
such
 as
disorder
Replace the word
disorderly
show examples
 conduct or theft, are araising due to
parents
’ faults.
Therefore
 some lawmakers recommend punishing the
parents
 for their
Change noun form
children’s
show examples
childrens’
Correct your spelling
children's
show examples
 bad
behaviours
 will force them to take care of their
children
 more closely. In some circumstances, I agree with
this
 statement,
however
, from an ethical perspective, I think
children
 should be
Correct your spelling
taught
tough
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 to hold
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for their own
behaviours
.
To begin
 with,
parents
 need to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for their
children’s
 bad
Correct your spelling
behaviours
behaviour
bahaviors
Correct your spelling
behaviours
. Since
parents
 take the main role in raising their
children
, they must teach
children
 what is right and wrong and give them good
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
. With
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
 instructions,
children
 grow up as responsible
people
 and
reluctant
Add a missing verb
are reluctant
show examples
 to participate in any crime.
In other words
,
Add an article
a parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 ought to be aware of and control their
children’s
behaviours
. Taking
this
 responsibility will let
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 take care of their
children
 more closely and reduce criminal juveniles.
On the other hand
, some
people
 argue that
children
 should be
Correct your spelling
taught
tough
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 to hold
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for their own
behaviours
. They suppose that holding
parents
 accountable for their
children’s
 crimes is
way
Add an article
a way
the way
show examples
 of blaming, not trying to resolve the problem.
This
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it easier for
children
 to involve in criminal
action
Replace the word
activities
show examples
 as they know their
parents
 will take the blame but not themselves. I personally think that every
people
 including
children
 must take the
rssponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for their own
behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
parents
 are responsible to supervise and
correct
Wrong verb form
correcting
show examples
children’s
behaviours
, they are not to blame for every one of their actions. These two
Correct your spelling
concepts
conepts
Correct your spelling
concepts
 are not mutually exclusive, which indicates that they are both accountable.
Submitted by buiphuongmai on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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