Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In these days and age, schools have become the maximum crucial institutions that provide
minor
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minors

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with a proper education that will allow them to develop.
However
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, there is an increasing number of reported bullying cases that happened inside in
schoolarly
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scholarly

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system. In my opinion, it depends on
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the parent's

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parent's
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parents'

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upbringing and
effect
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the effect

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of social media.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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situation can be bettered when
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the correct
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correct
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corrective

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measures are applied at the right time. On the one hand, there
is
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are

The singular verb form is does not seem to agree with the plural subject two causes of children why do bullying are related to the society. Consider changing the verb form.

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two causes of children why
do
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apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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bullying
are
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is

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related to
the
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apply

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society.
First
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of all,
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

initially
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,initially

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they grow up in an unsafe place where there
is
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are

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to
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too

The word to may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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much
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many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun deeds. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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harmful deeds. For
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instance
insance
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instance

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, offspring who are living in a broken family will usually see both of their parents
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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hit each other.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will follow their father or
mather's
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mother's

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attitude and express their
felling
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feeling

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to friends and
then
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commit
kid's
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a kid's

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delinquency.
In addition
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to
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apply

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, youngsters get
a
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apply

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bad behaviour from
the
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apply

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internet websites.
Although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

influence
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influences

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them to do
a
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apply

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negative thing. Scion who
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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only
watch
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watches

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horror movies
they
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apply

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may get some action and will try to
this
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pass on
others
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to others

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.
On the other hand
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, problems include the elderly and
school
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the school

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system. There is one solution
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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education students
though
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through

The word though doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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supplementing some material related to how to respect others and very well
character
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characterized

The word character doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in
the
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apply

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school.
Though
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Through

The word Though doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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this
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way, students can understand and realize human rights.
Secondly
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, parents should be corrected and teach children's
response
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responses

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on
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to

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using websites.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will help offspring know what kind of information
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will
wil
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will

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be beneficial to them.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when youngsters want to watch
force
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forced

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movies, parents can explain and give a piece of advice on the reason why do not allow to watch it. In conclusion, the environment and
advance
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advances

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of
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in

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technology would the main reason why kids commit anxiety
to
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about

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their friends.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
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