The most important consideration when choosing any career orjob is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The foremost factor to mention when getting into a profession is favourable remuneration. Without a good salary ,employees may show less sincerity towards work.I strongly opine for
this
Linking Words
viewpoint. My preference is justified with valid reasons and appropriate examples.
To begin
Linking Words
with,in
this
Linking Words
contemporary era,it is very hard to meet living expenses with the increasing value of essential commodities. The main reason is the grief attitude of retailing and manufacturing shops.Eventually ,they increase the prices of all basic goods to make more profit in an inaccurate way.
As a result
Linking Words
, common people who work for daily wages face more difficulties
to save
Change preposition
in saving
show examples
money for their future.
For instance
Linking Words
,in,India most nursing professionals get low salaries between 10000 and 15000 and they were striking against management authorities recently.
Moreover
Linking Words
,people expect to have a salary that can match their intensity of work.If not ,they might show less interest in their jobs or even migrate to other countries.To illustrate, if an employer is hesitant to provide remuneration persistently,
then
Linking Words
it would be tough for him to get diligent workers and even fall down in the industry.
Finally
Linking Words
, a deficiency of adequate remuneration might provoke people to leave their place and migrate to places where they can get a good quality of life.To exemplify, medical professionals from Kerala leave
this
Linking Words
place as they don't get enough consideration for wages.
To sum up
Linking Words
,from the above paragraphs it is understandable that without having a
high-income
Correct your spelling
high income
show examples
workers would be reluctant to join a firm.
Therefore
Linking Words
,it is mandatory to consider fair income
while
Linking Words
getting a job opportunity.
Submitted by deepumolvarghese5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay has some coherence and cohesion issues. Try to structure your ideas more logically and use transitional phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You need to address the essay prompt more directly and develop your ideas more comprehensively. Try to provide more detailed examples and elaborate on your points to achieve a better task response.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: