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Band 5

*Influence of human beings on world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solution can you suggest? *

#*influence #beings #world #ecosystem #extinction #species #loss #biodiversity
In today’s world, people are becoming one of the major
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 for losing out of
species
. They are more inclined to
expend
Correct your spelling
expand
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 the area for
fulfilment
Add an article
the fulfilment
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 of their purpose. Despite, giving
an
Remove the article
apply
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another thought
about
Change preposition
to
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 the concerned surroundings and
species
.
As a result
, they are vanishing slowly. I will be in for sizing on the basic causes which are leading to the problem and how we can solve it. To commence with, mankind is being dominated towards the usage of mobile phones which is becoming one of the major
root
Change to a plural noun
roots
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
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 extinction. Because
,
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apply
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 the companies are getting more profit from it.
Hence
 they do increase the frequency of concern sim cards which is impacting the survival of birds.
In addition
to
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apply
show examples
, humankind is using
the
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apply
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fossil fuels excessively.
As a result
, they are becoming invisible.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals are in favour of consuming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nonrenewable resources in spite of thinking being devasting in fact. To illustrate, people are likely to transform the forest into urban cities and
Establishing
Wrong verb form
Establish
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 their factories by cutting down the trees which is having a destructive impact on
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there should have some strict laws to follow on the utilisation of
such
 places.
Additionally
, there should have some
really
Replace the word
real
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 or seminars which can help to create awareness
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the role of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and its importance.
In addition
,
government
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the government
show examples
 should introduce
the
Correct article usage
a
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 subject in the education system which is portraying the significance of our
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
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. To conclude, in my opinion, human beings are influencing the environment and somehow they are becoming the reason for
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
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 of
species
. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are being selfish and not giving
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal authority to other
species
 to live.
Hence
, it can be reduced by keeping in mind that other
species
 have equal power to live their life freely and happily.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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