Some people think painting and drawing are as important as other subjects, they should be compulsory in the high school education. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

For the time being, a large number of people claim that high
school
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schools
show examples
should
increase
hours of the painting. On the one way, I agree with the statement, because drawing improves
children
's imagination,
moreover
, pupils become less
stressful
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stressed
show examples
. On the other way, I disagree, because we have more important
subjects
in our life, which
related
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are related
show examples
to our career. On the one hand, nowadays many
children
become lazy
,
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apply
show examples
because technologies disturb them. Actually, they do not have a strong imagination, because they adopted to find the
Correct your spelling
information on
informationon
Correct your spelling
information on
the internet without thinking.
For example
, if a teacher at school gives an essay to a child, it is clear that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pupil will not have an idea, because he adopted to write an essay from the internet without his opinion, because of the fact that
children
should try
in
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawing. From my point of view,
to paint
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painting
show examples
pictures,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is so enjoyable and it can prevent stress.
For instance
, if the government increases lessons
of
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in
show examples
painting, it will be useful for offspring, because in the future they will live without stress and depression. These two opinions can prevent
children
's depression and
increase
imagination too. It is
obviously
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obvious
show examples
, that in the future we will
we will
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apply
show examples
need
subjects
, which
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
important than art,
such
as math, physics, chemistry and so on. In my opinion,
Correct your spelling
governments
government
goverments
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governments
should
increase
hours
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the hours
show examples
of science
subjects
, because I believe that a small part of
Add an article
the pupil
a pupil
show examples
pupil
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pupils
show examples
will be an artist. I mean, offspring should study science
subjects
, because 90% of jobs
requires
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require
show examples
these
subjects
.
For instance
, a child wants to be a pilot in the future,
however
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,however
show examples
this
profession demands physics, math and pi.
On
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In
show examples
this
case, people will not need
painting
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to paint
show examples
and
drawing
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draw
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that all governments will
increase
a
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the
show examples
number of art
,
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apply
show examples
because it
develop
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develops
show examples
children
's outlook and
calming
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calm
show examples
. But I disagree that drawing and painting will be needed in all jobs.
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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