IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think children should obey the rules their parents and teachers set and listen to them, but others think less control will help children to deal with their future adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #rules #parents #teachers #control #future #adult #life
It is often considered few masses argue that juveniles should hear and follow the rules which are made by their guardians and educators. Meanwhile, some individuals believe kids should deal with their own problems, so it will be helpful for their future
life
. In my, an inclined youngster should obey each and every regulation which is made by their close ones because it will help them to achieve their goal in
life
.
Thus
this
 essay will elaborate on both views which lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
 and foremost reason behind is that elders use to guide their small members, so they can know how to behave in society.
Therefore
, at an early
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
 parents use to find the best school for their kids, so they can learn the morals of
life
 under the guidance of an experienced teacher.
Furthermore
, if adolescents obey their parent's and teachers' rules, they may not distract from their aim in
life
.
Thus
, living became easier for them.
For example
, a survey conducted by The Time Of India mentioned in their article that most of the family members use it to guide their babies and provide moral of
life
, so it would help them to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wise
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. Probing ahead, some group of people think less control over children help to face their own problem it will be beneficial for them in the upcoming days.
Moreover
, if children let free from the rules of guardians and teachers it will help them to gain
a new experiences
Correct the article-noun agreement
new experiences
a new experience
show examples
 in
life
.
Hence
, these
life
 lessons would be helpful for them to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. In a nutshell, according to the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
argument one can reach the conclusion that parents should always keep the child under regulation and teachers
also
 follow the same notion which is really beneficial for students.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: