Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

I think if we have a chance to buy a

gun

it will be very nice

to

Change preposition

for

show examples

us because these days

crimes

Change the noun form

crime

show examples

rates are higher day by day and if we are weak or not strong enough we will die because of bad people .That's why we need a

gun

to protect ourselves from thieves and others we can not see. In the following

paragraphs

Add a comma

,paragraphs

show examples

I will tell you my opinions.

First

of all, having a

gun

in everybody is too dangerous because if we can not control our anger or if

you

Correct pronoun usage

we

show examples

are a high temper person

you

Correct pronoun usage

we

show examples

will use that

gun

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

can be caused many accidents.

For example

, if you are a dad or mom

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

someone

you

Change the pronoun

your

show examples

child doesn't obey your words and they

did

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rudeness more than your anger level and

then

you can not control yourself and you are using a pistol accidentally .

Then

your children can be due and you will definitely go to

a

Remove the article

apply

show examples

jail.At

last

, your family will be broken and

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of your life can be filled with sadness .

On the other hand

, guns are too expensive to buy.Everyone cannot afford to buy a pistol.And

this

topic is really

concerned

Replace the word

concerning

show examples

to the government because all democratic citizens have

a

Remove the article

apply

show examples

permission from their government and they can easily

bought

Change the verb form

buy

be bought

show examples

what they want and any

kinds

Fix the agreement mistake

kind

show examples

of guns they want.So if we can stop

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

to control buying of a

gun

it is really nice . To conclude, there

are

Change the verb form

is

show examples

good and bad

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

in

Change preposition

on

show examples

this

topic but

I'm strongly disagree

Change the verb form

I strongly disagree

show examples

with the topic.