IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

It is too expensive a look after and repair old building. This money should be spent on buildings modern buildings instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#look #repair #money #buildings
Nowadays, preservation of the old buildings
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 a significant amount of
money
. While some people have a conviction that
this
money
 would be spent to build modern premises. I firmly believe that
money
 should be spent to look after historic erections.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 following paragraphs the advantages and disadvantages of these views are considered and concluded.
On the other hand
, preserving ancient structures are expensive but worth it. Because these edifices represent the ancient era of human development. If they are not preserved, they will eventually disappear and an important part of human history will be lost.
For example
, many tourists visit the provinces to see the ancient premises,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 if the structures are destroyed, it will cause great damage to tourism. It should
also
 be said that living in modern edifices equipped with modern facilities become an inevitable part of today's life.
On the other hand
, there are many merits of new erections and the foremost advantage is
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could be made in
such
 a way that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can accommodate more people in that much space. In conclusion, as we have seen above, these old buildings are still
Correct your spelling
meaningful
meaningfull
Correct your spelling
meaningful
 to folk lives.
Therefore
, people should be encouraged to preserve our historical and significant structures,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 a new one if
old-fashioned
Correct article usage
an old-fashioned
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 required
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
 for repair and
maintains
Replace the word
maintenance
show examples
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: