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Band 5

Some people believe that after the child begins his/her schooling their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #child #teachers #influence #parents
It is indeed
true
Add an article
a true
the true
show examples
 fact that after
parents
, teachers are the most important and influential
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in a
children
's life. In
this
 essay, I completely disagree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
,
children
 spend most of their time with their
parents
.
Parents
 due to give birth
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 sons and daughters in the world and
also
children
 saw their mum and dad
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
first
 time. They can teach their daughters and sons many important things like how to behave,
difference
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the difference
show examples
 between right
or
Correct word choice
and
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 wrong, traditions, religion, values and so on.
For example
, their mum and dad feed a baby, playing toys together and their
parents
 read aloud a tale before they go to sleep at night.
Secondly
,
parents
 can show direction to their
children
 and make them better responsible
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Therefore
,
this
 leads to creating a better world for living because the future of the nation is on mature individuals. The result of
this
 is a time to use to take care
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
 teach
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 be good people when they grow up.
On the other hand
, tutors are
well trained
Add a hyphen
well-trained
show examples
 to control their pupils.
Thus
, teachers can identify
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 potential inside the child and motivate them to achieve their goals. They
also
 can give better advice on career choice to the
children
 because they know what is a child really want in their life. In conclusion, I admit that teachers are helpful in career, selection, motivate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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boys and girls and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
help
to
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apply
show examples
the
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 to achieve their goals, but
parents
 bring up their
children
 the best way and they can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
 achieve
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 in their future life.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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