The role of education is to prepare children for modern world.Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculam so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Nowadays, children are going to be the pillar of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, so preparing them accurately by different institutions is crucial, and the choice of what they are studying will define their career. In my opinion, I think that focusing on some demanding subject is vital for scholars'

Correct your spelling

future

futur

Correct your spelling

future

. On the one hand, children have different mentalities which means they have the ultimate choice of what they will focus on, some creative scholars would be underrated in some

subjects

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in which critical thinking is required. For

Correct your spelling

example

exemple

Correct your spelling

example

, they would achieve a mediocre grade in math while they will be able to surpass their colleagues in arts.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, passing

considerable

Correct article usage

a considerable

show examples

amount of time

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some undemanding

subjects

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is an irrational decision,

this

Linking Words

will lead to a lack of time in some

job oriented

Add a hyphen

job-oriented

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subjects

Use synonyms

needed by modern companies.

For instance

Linking Words

, learning how to code is vital and it is

highly

Correct article usage

a highly

show examples

used skill in many information technology companies. So if they focus on some unnecessary lessons, they would find themselves in a critical situation where nobody is looking for their skills, and

then

Linking Words

the high rate of unemployment will increase. In conclusion, I would definitely agree with the fact that unnecessary

subjects

Use synonyms

should remove from the students' curriculum to keep them more oriented towards the job market needs.

abdazizhimmi

Nov 12, 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Diverse curriculum
Well-rounded development
Modern job market
Information technology
Fostering creativity
Critical thinking
Emotional intelligence
Cultural literacy
Adaptability
STEM subjects
Innovative thinkers
Customized education
Artistic expression
Cognitive skills
Career paths
Multifaceted learning

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The role of education is to prepare children for modern world.Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculam so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that individuals have no power to improve the environment, and only governments and large companies can make a real difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?