IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The illustrations demonstrate the
number
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 of
people
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 who visited
Ashdown
Correct article usage
the Ashdown
show examples
 Museum prior to and after the renovation, and
also
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 the levels of satisfaction of
visitors
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 in the same period. In general, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 and level of satisfaction after refurbishment is increased. The
number
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 of
people
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 who visited the Museum escalated significantly by 22,000, the year after renovation. Regarding the surveys which measured
visitors
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' satisfaction, the level of dissatisfied
visitors
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 after the reconstruction decreased sharply from 40 per cent to just 15 per cent;
however
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, the
number
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 of
people
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 who are in the very satisfied category rises more than twice from 15 to 35 per cent.
On the other hand
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, while the not responding
visitors
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’ percentage remained steady at 5, the category of
people
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 who were very dissatisfied experienced a significant decline by half.
In addition
Linking Words
, the proportion of
visitors
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 with the group satisfied grew from 30 to 40.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
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